Monday, December 13, 2010

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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One Sunday evening the Amish community had gathered together for a special meeting with a visiting preacher.

The meeting went well and the singing was grand. When it came time to dismiss, the Bishop asked Brother Caleb Troyer to dismiss the group in prayer. Brother Caleb started praying, and as he did tender words fell from his lips. With trembling he besought God's mercy.

Soon folk were going to the alter, praying, sobbing and many new dedications were made. In fact, the meeting broke out in a new spirit and continued on for another two hours.

That evening on the way home, Brother Josh Mast turned to his wife riding alongside him in their buggy. Josh said,"You know Martha, I have known Caleb Troyer many years. And Brother Caleb Troyer is a fine man, a hard worker, a good father and a good neighbor. I know Brother Caleb Troyer reads his Bible daily and prayers regular. Yep, Brother Caleb is a fine man, but he sure ain't no hand to dismiss a meeting.

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Its All Humor

Its All Humor


Letter of recommendation

Posted: 11 Dec 2010 03:00 AM PST

While working with Mr.Simon, I have always found him working studiously and sincerely at his table without gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things.
Given a job, he always finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be classed as outstanding, and should on no account be dispensed with.
I strongly feel that Mr.Simon should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to management be sent away as soon as possible.

Branch Manager

A second note following the report:

Mr.Simon was present when I was writing the report mailed to you
today. Kindly read only the alternate lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9,.......
for my true assessment of him.

Regards,

Branch Manager

Friday, December 10, 2010

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

"I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him.

"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"

"No," he replied, "it's parked in the wrong driveway."

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dear Sir/Ma

Dear Sir/Ma,

I have a business proposal for you. Please contact me through my private
email for more details:

E-mail: mrkhaldoon.khalifa1@gmail.com

Sincerely,
Mr. Khaldoon Khalifa

Its All Humor

Its All Humor


Major changes Past Vs Present

Posted: 09 Dec 2010 06:47 AM PST

Youths before and today...

Game play before and today...

Makeup style before and today...

Logo designs before and today...

Letters before and today...

Kamikaze before and today...

Jeans style before and today...

Hot-dogs before and today...

Hand techniques before and today...

Eggs before and today...

Dog walking styles before and today...

Dog houses before and today...

Comedians before and today...

Chess game before and today...

Cell phone games before and today...

Chernobyl before and today...

Breakfast before and today...

Body builders before and today...

Autograph signing before and today...

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One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots.

The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the heck are you doing walking around town dressed like that?"

Billy-Bob replies "Well, Sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a-cuddlin'. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did. Inside the barn we started a kissing and a-cuddlin' some more and things got pretty hot and heavy. Well, then Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. So, I took off all my clothes except my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay herself on the hay and said, 'Okay Billy-Bob, let's go to town!'... I guess I'm the first one here."

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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One Sunday evening the Amish community had gathered together for a special meeting with a visiting preacher.

The meeting went well and the singing was grand. When it came time to dismiss, the Bishop asked Brother Caleb Troyer to dismiss the group in prayer. Brother Caleb started praying, and as he did tender words fell from his lips. With trembling he besought God's mercy.

Soon folk were going to the alter, praying, sobbing and many new dedications were made. In fact, the meeting broke out in a new spirit and continued on for another two hours.

That evening on the way home, Brother Josh Mast turned to his wife riding alongside him in their buggy. Josh said,"You know Martha, I have known Caleb Troyer many years. And Brother Caleb Troyer is a fine man, a hard worker, a good father and a good neighbor. I know Brother Caleb Troyer reads his Bible daily and prayers regular. Yep, Brother Caleb is a fine man, but he sure ain't no hand to dismiss a meeting.

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Its pissing down and this midget goes to the doctors and says "Every time it rains my fanny gets sore".

He tells her to hop onto the examining couch. He bends over and looks up her skirt. "I see the problem," he says. And taking a pair of scissors shoves them up her skirt. Snip snip snip snip he goes with the scissors. "There that's fixed it" he says. "Your fanny wont be sore any more"

"Did you operate on my fanny doctor?" asks the midget.

"No" said the doctor, "I cut 2 inches off the tops of your wellingtons".

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Monday, December 6, 2010

Its All Humor

Its All Humor


Forgive Your Enemies And High Tech Man

Posted: 05 Dec 2010 05:22 PM PST

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies".
Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. This time about 80 percent held up their hands.
He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs.Jones?" inquired the preacher, "are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
"I don't have any," she replied smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-three." she replied.
"Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world?"


Mrs. Jones tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the b*tches!"

High Tech Man

A man walks into a bar and sits down right across from the bartender. The bartender sees the man poking at his hand and putting it next to his ear, and asks him, "What are you doing? The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone.

After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his butt. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!"

The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."

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A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
"Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."
"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."
"Husband #5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method."
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not."
"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."
"Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it."
"Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look."
"Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was.....hmmmmm....... God, I miss him!".........
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"
"Wonderful," said the husband, "but, why?"
"You're with the Government........This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed."

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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes


LAZINESS FUNNY JOKE

Posted: 04 Dec 2010 10:11 AM PST

"How's times?" inquired a tourist.

"Oh, pretty tolerable," responded the old native who was sitting on a stump. "I had some trees to cut down, but a cyclone come along and saved me the trouble."

"Fine."

"Yes, and then the lightning set fire to the brush pile and saved me the trouble of burnin' it."

"Remarkable. But what are you going to do now?"

"Oh, nothin' much. Jest waitin' for an earthquake to come along and shake the potatoes out of the ground."

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his 789

Friday, December 3, 2010

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes


JOKE OF THE DAY LAZINESS

Posted: 02 Dec 2010 09:35 AM PST

While the train was waiting on a side track down in Georgia, one of the passengers walked over to a cabin near the track, in front of which sat a cracker dog, howling. The passenger asked a native why the dog was howling.

"Hookworm," said the native. "He's lazy."

"But," said the stranger, "I was not aware that the hookworm is painful."

"'Taint," responded the garrulous native.

"Why, then," the stranger queried, "should the dog howl?"

"Lazy."

"But why does laziness make him howl?"

"Wal," said the Georgian, "that blame fool dawg is sittin' on a sand-bur, an' he's too tarnation lazy to get off, so he jes' sets thar an' howls 'cause it hurts."

FUNNY JOKES LAZINESS

Posted: 02 Dec 2010 09:34 AM PST

A tourist in the mountains of Tennessee once had dinner with a querulous old mountaineer who yarned about hard times for fifteen minutes at a stretch.

"Why, man," said the tourist, "you ought to be able to make lots of money shipping green corn to the northern market."

"Yes, I otter," was the sullen reply.

"You have the land, I suppose, and can get the seed."

"Yes, I guess so."

"Then why don't you go into the speculation?"

"No use, stranger," sadly replied the cracker, "the old woman is too lazy to do the plowin' and plantin'."