| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! Funny Joke Rating New Jokes. |
| Cinderella was sad. She had no date to the big ball, and even if she did, she didn't have a dress the wear. Out of nowhere, her fairy godmother appears. The godmother says, "Cinderella, if you want to go to the ball, I can give you a dress, but I cannot give you a date. Do you want to go?" "Yes, godmother, more than anything!" Cinderella says. "Well, stand back and let me work" the godmother says. BOOM! Cinderella is now in a skimpy skin tight dress. "Now Cinderella, if you are not home but 3 AM, then your pussy will turn into a pumpkin" the grandmother says. Not hearing what her godmother had said, Cinderella rushed to the ball. At 3:30 AM the fairy godmother is pacing around the house wondering where Cinderella was. About 3:45 AM, Cinderella walks in with her hair all messed up. "Where have you been!" the godmother yells. "And why isn't your pussy a pumpkin?" "Oh godmother," Cinderella says."I had the best time of my life. I had sex with this most attractive man". "Well, that explains where you have been, but why isn't your pussy a pumpkin?" the godmother asks "What was this guys name?" So Cinderella says, "Um, lets see, um, Oh yeah, his name was Peter Peter, um Oh yeah, Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater" Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! |
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
Monday, March 2, 2009
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! Funny Joke Rating New Jokes. |
| A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it. In order, the figures were: 1. A Woman 2. A Donkey 3. A Shovel 4. A Fish 5. A Star of David After months of studying the rock, and the figures on it, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour. He said: "the carvings were several thousands of years old, but even so, they revealed a lot about the people of that time: 1. The woman being placed first in the line of figures indicated that women were held in very high esteem. It was most likely a family oriented culture. 2. The donkey indicated they had domesticated animals. They probably used the donkey to till the fields. 3. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent, as they knew how to make tools. 4. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised by also reaping from the sea. 5. The Star of David, of course, indicates they were a very religious group of people." A little old man in the front row raised his hand to get the attention of the speaker. When acknowledged he said, "I'm sorry to blow your conclusions but you were reading it left to right. In Hebrew we read from right to left. That way, it reads: "Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that babe!" On-line Dating || Funny T-Shirts |
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Jokester's Latest Joke: Sounds About Right to Me
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| From the Jokester | Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net |
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| Science Definitions from Kids H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers. Blood flows down one leg and up the other. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is that it is something to hitch meat to. A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors. The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the Moon, because there is no water in the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the Sun joins this fight. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is. Equator: a managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa. Germinate: to become a naturalized German. Liter: a nest of young puppies. Magnet: something you find crawling all over a dead cat. Planet: a body of earth surrounded by sky. Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot. Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops. For a dog bite, put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it. For a head cold, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat. To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow. | ||
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