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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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One year, at Duke, there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to U. Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time.

However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final.

They told him that they went up to UV for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.

Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points.

"Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said:

(95 points) Which tire?

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Friday, March 3, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

The town fathers were not too happy with the sign, and they proposed "Hysteria and Posteriors."

The doctors didn't find it acceptable, so they suggested "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

The town didn't like that either and countered with "Catatonics and High Colonics."

Thumbs down again. By now the story was in the papers, and suggestions began rolling in:

"Manic-depressives and Anal-retentive."
"Minds and Behinds."
"Lost Souls and A**holes."
"Analysis and Anal Cysts."
"Queers and Rears."
"Nuts and Butts."
"Freaks and Cheeks."
"Loons and Moons."

None of these satisfied one side or the other, but they finally settled on "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

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Thursday, March 2, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

An Arab prince was arriving by plane at Heathrow airport, UK. Before entering the UK you have to fill in an immigration sheet and the flight attendant has just distributed those papers to the passengers. In the box for SEX in the card the Arab prince wrote "Yes, please".

The flight attendant collected the papers but came back to the Arab prince and said "Sir, here you have to write "male" or 'female".

The prince said, "Oh, it doesn't matter for me."

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