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| From the Jokester | Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net |
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| A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. | | As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. | | Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo! | | Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway. | | Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. | | Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. | | Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. | | For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. | | Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat all day, drinking beer. | | He who laughs last, thinks slowest. | | I intend to live forever so far, so good. | | I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. | | I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. | | I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. | | I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. | | If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. | | If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? | | It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. | | It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. | | It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. | | Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. | | Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. | | Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. | | Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. | | Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. | | Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. | | Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. | | The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. | | The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. | | The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. | | The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. | | Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. | | What happens if you get scared half to death twice? | | When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. | | When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. | | You can't have everything, where would you put it? | |
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From Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}: Jokester@TheJokester.net
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