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| The administration of an elementary school decided to start a more inclusive policy on which words were "bad" words. Among those initiated to the category was "suck" (when not referring to the principle of suction). One day a child came up to the teacher to inform her that one of the other students had said a bad word. "What was the bad word he said?" asked the teacher. "I can't say it." "It's ok to tell me, you won't get in trouble for it." "No, it's too bad; I don't want to say it" "Well I have to know what he said in order to punish him. Can you tell me what it is without saying it?" "Well... it rhymes with 'f*ck'" By Herself A young teacher began a job as an elementary school counselor and was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. The teacher approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, the teacher noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, the teacher offered, "Would you like me to be your friend? The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, the teacher then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the f*cking goalie!" Wisdom - Let There Be Peace A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I use to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." he kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?" "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. | ||
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