Wednesday, May 24, 2017

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This Vietnam vet goes and takes his civil service exam for the Post Office and he winds up at the interview. While there the interviewer notes that the guy scored 99% on the test, is a Vietnam vet, and was injured in the line of duty.

Automatically this qualifies the guy for a job.

So the interviewer tells the guy he got the job and then asks what the injury was.

"I got my balls shot off," says the guy.

So then the interviewer says "Ok, well your workday starts at 9:00 AM".

This perplexes the guy and he asks why he can come in at 9:00 when everyone else comes in at 7:30.

"Because for the first hour and a half, we all stand around scratching our balls."


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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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After five years of toil at a Wall Street law firm, an associate was burning the midnight oil at his office.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a tower of smoke burst from the floor. Satan stepped out of the smoke, and addressed the lawyer. "I understand you'd give absolutely anything to make partner," said the devil, "So I've come here to make you an offer. I'll make you a partner, but in return I will take the souls of your wife, your parents, your children, your grandchildren, and all of your friends."

The lawyer looked strangely puzzled, and thought hard for several minutes. Finally, he turned to Satan and asked, "What's the catch?"


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Monday, May 22, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how for Christmas this year he’d love to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."

A month later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.

The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can’t take her eyes off it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group and he is staring at them like they have lost their minds.

"I can’t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, ’Well babe, is it sex or golf?’ And she said, "Take a sweater..."


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