Friday, April 13, 2018

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Questions for the ages:

If the earth is travelling at 65,000 miles per hour, why doesn't it affect our hair?

If sniffing gas makes you high, why don't more people have thier noses stuck up other people's asses?

Why does cargo get sent by ship, and shipments sent by car?

Why don't people with magnetic personalities set off metal detectors?

Does yellow snow taste banana flavoured?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Is it just coincidence?

If x=10, and y=X^2 + 10z^4, how far past the expiration date can you keep milk?

If sour cream really is cream that has gone sour, why don't people just buy cream and keep it in their fridge for four months?

When will Porsche build a car that everyone can afford?

If John Tesh fell over in a forest, would anybody care?

If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, would it to be not to buy those socks you just bought?

Why are so many people stuck on stucco?


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Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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There were three little pigs that went to a restaurant for dinner. The waiter came to the table and asked if they would like something to drink.

The first piggy said, "I would like a Dr. Pepper."
The second piggy said, "I would like a glass of tea."
The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."

When the waiter brought the drinks, he asked if they were ready to order.
The first piggy said, "I would like a Hamburger."
The second piggy said, "I would like a Steak."
The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."

When the piggies were finished eating, the waiter asked if they would like some dessert.
The first piggy said, "I would like a hot fudge sundae."
The second piggy said, "I would like a banana split."
The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."

When the piggies were finished with dessert, the waiter brought their check. Before he left the table, he asked the third little piggy why he only ordered water.

The third piggy said, "Well, someone has to go 'Wee wee wee all the way home'."


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Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Welles and Link were lost in the desert and hadn't eaten in weeks. Suddenly they stumbled on a dead coyote covered with maggots.

Welles, at the point of starvation, couldn't control himself. He threw himself on the rotting animal and began eating it. Ten minutes later, he threw up all over the place.

At that moment, Link began eating what his friend had just vomited. He stopped for a moment and said, "I knew if I waited long enough I'd have a hot meal!"


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