Monday, January 22, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."


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Monday, December 18, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a millipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home and found a good location for the box.

He decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the millipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today, to pray and worship the Lord." But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings." But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the millipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me we will have a good time!"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."


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Friday, December 15, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed some papers and then said, 'please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.'

'Because,' the man said, 'I live in a two-story house.'

The Judge replies, 'what kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?'

The man answers, 'Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.''


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