Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Basic Finance and Investment on July 23 and 30, 2011 at AIM Conference Center, Makati City

Want to Make Your Money Work For You?

DMCA

Business Education

What You'll Learn:

 

A. Guiding Principle in Money

    Management

B. Financial Profile

    B1. Inflows vs Outflows

    B2. Stretching your Financial Profile

    B3. Goal-Setting

C. Financial Instruments

    C1. Fixed Income Investments

           - Types (SAs, TDs, SDAs, TBills,

             TNotes, etc.)

           - Determinants (inflation, interest,

             forex, etc.)

           - Avenues (banks, PDEX, etc.)

    C2. Annuities

           - Types (pre-need, insurance, etc.

           - Avenues

           - Caveats

    C3. Equity Investments

           - Types (blue chips, growth

              stocks, etc.)

           - Determinants

           - Analysis (fundamental vs 

             technical)

           - Caveats

    C4. Real Estate

           - Types (direct investment, REITs)

           - Caveats

    C5. Pooled Funds

           - Types (mutual funds, UITFs)

           - Avenues (investment houses,

             banks, insurance companies,

             etc.)

           - Caveats

D. Portfolio Management

E. Performance Measurement

 

F. 3Rs – Revisit, Rethink, Revise

G. Conclusion/Summary

Basic in Finance and Investment

 

AIM Conference Center, Makati City

July 23 and 30, 2011

· Want to make your money work for you?

· Interested in the different types of investments and wanting to know which one is right for you?

· Getting ready to invest in the stock market, money market or looking into investment options as you plan your finances?

 

"Instead of working hard for money, why not make your hard earned money

work for you."

 

Join our Basics in Finance and Investment Program, a two day learning experience that will prepare you to plan and invest your Financial Resources.  This is part of our Numbers and Management Series that aims to give you a GOOD WORKING KNOWLEDGE on the essentials of Business and Financial Management.

 

This is the course for individuals who want to plan their

finances for their future and would want to look into the

different types of investments out in the market.

Ultimately, if you believe in this equation:

 

FINANCIAL PLANNING + KNOWLEDGE = SECURED FUTURE

Then this program is for you!

Media Partner:

Continue Mastering Business with us with OUR NUMBERS AND MANAGEMENT SERIES

 

Level 1:  Business Accounting

              and Tax

Level 2:  Managerial Accounting

Level 3: Basics in Investment

              and Finance

Level 4:  Human Resource

              Management

Level 5:  Chartered Business

              Administrator Program

Contact us to reserve a slot.

For Inquiries: Please Call us at: 840.3903 / 817.7036 / 310.4166

Or you can Email us at: business@dmcasia.net

And you can Visit us at: www.dmcasia.net

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A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him.

The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes.

The second guy says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?"

The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.

The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money.

The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you."

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Monday, May 30, 2011

Its All Humor

Its All Humor


The Pope and Rugby Fans

Posted: 30 May 2011 11:30 AM PDT

The Pope took a few days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He
was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic
commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing an English rugby jersey, was struggling frantically
to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in
horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing Springbok rugby
jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while the other
two reached out and pulled the blue semiconscious English fan from the
water. Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled
it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to him. "I give you my
blessing for your brave actions. I heard that there was some bitter hatred
between South African and English rugby fans, but now I have seen with my
own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "who was that?"

"It was the Pope" one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has
access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and his wisdom, but
he doesn't know anything about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up OK or
do we need to get another Pommie?"

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Three old men are about to play their regular match when the starter asks if they mind that a lady joins them to make up a foursome.

When they see the stunning beautiful 18 year old blonde they all agree that she would make a great 4th. Her standard of golf does not match her looks and after playing 17 bad holes she gets to the 18th and has a 20 foot put for a par.

"I would do anything in the world to get a par" she tells the three men.

All three obviously have the same thing in mind. The first man says "hold your hands tight together and aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole"

The second man says "No, no, aim just inside the left edge and hit it firm, make sure you do not leave it short"

The 3rd gentleman walks around the green surveying the hole from every angle and say's "Ah, its a gimmie."

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

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Saturday, May 28, 2011

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Friday, May 27, 2011

I need a business partner from Asia,pls revert

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After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

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Thursday, May 26, 2011

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Its All Humor

Its All Humor


Why maids want more salary

Posted: 25 May 2011 10:00 PM PDT

A maid asked for a raise working at Mr.Stevens, she(the wife) was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked:
"Now Maria, why do you want a pay raise?
Mary: "Well, ma'am, there are three reasons why I want a raise.

The first is that i iron better than you. "
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: 'Your husband said. "
Wife: "Oh."

Mary: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
Wife: "Nonsense, who said that if it is a better cook than me?"
Maria: 'Your husband did. "
Wife: "Oh.

Mary: "The third reason is that I'm better at sex than in bed.
Wife: (very angry now) Ah! My husband says so? '
Maria: 'No Mam ... your driver said. "
Wife: "Ok Ok, how much do you want?"

This is an old joke and you might have read it but still its a very funny joke

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A Mans version of the Garden of Eden

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman".

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

South Park: Cartman Introduces the Crack Baby Athletic Association Tonight @ 10p/9c

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I need a business partner from Asia,pls revert

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Two five year olds are standing at the toilet to pee. One says to the other, "Whoa! Whats up with your ding-dong?"

"I've been circumcised," says the boy. "They cut the skin off the end when I was two day old."

"Did it hurt?" asks the first.

"You bet it hurt!" replies the second. "I didn't walk for a year!"

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

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Its All Humor

Its All Humor


Types of Computer Viruses in Real World

Posted: 24 May 2011 01:00 AM PDT


Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus:
Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Perhaps we should report these viruses to Symantec for fix :) 

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A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.

Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"

"Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."

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Monday, May 23, 2011

Basic in Finance Investment on July 23 & 30, 2011 at AIM Conference Center, Makati City

DMCA

Business Education

No matter what state you and your business is in, we're here to help you make the most of the world has to offer. Our programs have helped business managers grow their business from across the Philippines and the Asia Pacific region.

 

Our best in class programs and noted speakers have produced ripples that reach far beyond our seas. We invite you to join and take our management programs and see the limitless possibilities you can gain.

 

Together lets get things done for you and your business, today.

our belief

Click on the links below to know more

About Us

Our Programs and Admissions (June-September 2011)

Business Accounting and Tax Program

Learn the basics but most crucial fundamentals in Accounting. The program is designed to prepare you for the other managerial and business courses that will help you grow as a manager or a businessman.

Managerial Accounting Program

Understand the language of business and be provided with the knowledge and skill needed to plan, direct, control and take on any business challenge whether you're climbing the corporate ladder or an entrepreneur growing your business.

Basic in Finance Investment Seminar

Learn the fundamentals of investing and understand the financial markets. Have a firm grasp on how financial markets and investments work and be in a better position to invest, trade and deal your money.

Human Resource Management Seminar

Manage your human resource well with business and ethic.  Know the principles and factors that affect the management of your firm's best asset-your people.

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Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their holidays. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the Summer.

"We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota," he said.

"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said, "Can you tell the class how you spell that?"

Little Johnny thought about it and said, "Come to think of it, we went to Iowa."

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Sunday, May 22, 2011

£750,000.00 GBP was given to you In The British P.O 2011 Offer

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Int’l Mini-MBA at Makati Shangri-La, Makati City on July 09 - August 27, 2011

DMCA

Business Education

Chartered Business Administrator Program (Mini-MBA)

At DMCA, we understand what your

business means to you.

 

It means seeing a world with no boundaries.

Only opportunities.

 

It means not work.

But a job you are at your best.

 

It means that you not only encounter customers.

Also potential clients.

 

For you, your business is how you

make the most, of what the world

has to offer.

Course Overview 

The Chartered Business Administrator (CBA) Program of DMCA is a Mini-MBA world class graduate program specifically designed to help managers become global business leaders. In the age of globalization, this program will help managers become holistic and well-rounded with how they manage their business.

 

They get to be exposed to the different aspects that make up a business so that they see how the sum of parts contribute to the big picture.

Our Curriculum

Our curriculum is both strategic and interdisciplinary. It is specifically designed for

managers in order for them to appreciate how each unit in a business plays a vital role in

the organization. It develops managers to think and act like an owner and become leaders

themselves. It promotes innovation, strategy and leadership so that they become prepared

for the global business arena.

Core subjects discussed:

• Management of Human Resources

• Marketing Management

• Managing Information Resources

• Managerial Global Economics

• General (Strategic) Management Organization

• Managing Financial Resources

• Leadership Management

Our Lecturers

Our lecturers include some of the best and prominent business managers in different

industries. Among these lecturers are corporate executives who have real-life experience

on both theory and application. Most of the executives invited have been exposed to the

realities of the business environment which gives them the expertise to discuss how these

business theories are practiced.

Admissions

The Chartered Business Administrator Program (CBA Mini-MBA) will be conducted from 8:30 am to 12:30 pm at the Makati Shangri-La Hotel, Makati City. It will run through the following dates:

 

      9, 16, 23, and 30 July 2011

      6, 13, 20, and 27 August 2011

 

To apply for the Program, kindly call us at the following numbers (632) 840.3903

817.7036 / 310.4166 Or email us at inquiries@dmcasia.net

 

Check our websites: www.charteredaba.org / www.cbaphilippines.com for more details.

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