Wednesday, April 26, 2017

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Einstein, Casals, Picasso, and Eisenhower die and go to heaven. St. Peter is waiting for them, and requests identification. Einstein, who is first in line, says "I don't have any ID, but I can explain the equivalence of matter and energy." He is given a blackboard and proceeds to give an eloquent explanation of one of his most famous theories.

"Only Einstein himself could explain this so well," says St. Peter. "Step right in, professor. Next?"

Then Casals, who is next in line, says "I don't have any ID, but I can play my cello to prove who I am." He is given a cello and plays the most beautiful music imaginable.

"There's no question, you must be Casals," says St. Peter. "Next?"

Picasso steps to the gate. "I don't have any ID, but I can paint a picture to prove who I am." He is given some brushes and paints a spectacular picture.

"Okay, you're Picasso. Go right ahead," says St. Peter. "Next?"

"I'm Ike Eisenhower," says the former president, "but I don't have any ID. How can I prove who I am?"

"Well," says St. Peter. "Einstein was just here, and he discussed some of this theories. Then there was Casals , who played the cello for us. Then Picasso came, and he painted a picture. Can you do anything like that?"

"Who are Einstein, Casals, and Picasso?" asks Eisenhower. St. Peter looks at him and says,

"Mr. President, go right in."


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Thursday, April 13, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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It was graduation day at UNC, and the professors were giving out the degrees. The crowd started chanting Bubba, Bubba, Bubba!

The president of the University asked, "Who's Bubba?"

"Bubba is a guy who's been at the University for twenty years, and hasn't graduated."

The professor called Bubba up and told him that if he can answer one question, he would graduate. He asked him, "What is 4+4?"

"8," Bubba said.

"Boo!" the crowd roared. "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"


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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallys in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily.

Suddenly, the skies opened and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies, etc.

"That man's persistence yonder," observed one of the natives, "sure makes it easy to know who to vote for."

"Yep," the sheltered candidate agreed. "Sure couldn't see myself casting a vote for a man who hasn't the good sense to come in out of the rain."


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