Thursday, May 27, 2010

Jokes Gallery 5/27 Best Jokes and Pictures!

Thursday May 27, 2010
Best Videos
Reporter Breakfast
Wet Wedding
Best Pictures
Well Of Course
Mama's Favourite Festival
Best Jokes
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Quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sober in a Nightclub

Sober in a Nightclub

Did you know?

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:19 AM PDT

Difficult Surgery

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:14 AM PDT

Wolfram Alpha defines Meme

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:11 AM PDT

What?!? I have friends...

This is why I need to pay more attention....

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:07 AM PDT

I have seen Back to the Future maybe 8 billion times, and I have never noticed this before - very cool!

Today's Horoscope

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:05 AM PDT

Evil Kitten is so cute

Posted: 26 May 2010 01:01 AM PDT

How to get a teenage boy....

Posted: 26 May 2010 12:57 AM PDT

This really earns:


I hate it when that happens.

Posted: 26 May 2010 12:52 AM PDT

Its All Humor

Its All Humor

The news - Mike is dead

Posted: 26 May 2010 07:13 AM PDT

One says "Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!"

"Wooo, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom – He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof – Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!""No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he …"

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my f**king house."