Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Jokester's Latest Joke: A Weird Halloween


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Halloween Humor


Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

- To improve his bite.


What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

- Frostbite.


Why do witches use brooms to fly on?

- Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.


How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?

- With scare spray.


Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

- No, they eat the fingers separately.


Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?

- Because they don't have anybody to go out with.


What is a vampire's favorite sport?

- Casketball.


What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?

- Shrinkenstein.


What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

- A cereal killer.


What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

- Dead ends.


What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

- Bloodhounds.


What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

- A stake sandwich.


What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

- A trombone.


What do birds give out on Halloween night?

- Tweets.


Why do vampires need mouthwash?

- They have bat breath.


Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?

- He heard it had great circulation.


Why don't mummies go on vacation?

- They are afraid that they might relax and unwind



Weird Dream

Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day, so she went to her doctor.


Doctor: What was your dream about?


Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!


Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like?


Blonde: I was running in a hallway.


Doctor: Then what happened?


Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!


Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?


Blonde: Yes, it did.


Doctor: And what did the letters spell?


Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L."


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