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A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"


"Well he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food."

"Tiger wouldn’t do that!" She claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He’d come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I’m still hungry so I was going to call room service to get some food."

"Tiger wouldn’t do that." Again she claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

He’d come back to bed and do it a third time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this damn hole!"

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Little Johnny was sitting on his backyard swing set with some of his sixth grade schoolmates one Saturday when they started to tell some jokes to each other.

Little Susie started off by saying, "Knock, knock?" Everyone answered, "Who's there?" Susie says, "Boo!" Everyone replied, "Boo who?" To which Susie said, "Why are you all crying?" and everyone broke out laughing.

At this point, Little Johnny got up and started into his joke, "Hey, did you all hear about the prostitute who got fingered by Captain Hook?"

Immediately, Johnny's mother, who was nearby watering the roses and had heard Johnny start off, came rushing over and shouted, "Alright Johnny! That's enough! In fact, all of you kids can go home now. Leave, please."

The following Saturday, Johnny again invited his friends over, this time to play some video games. During a lull in the action, Johnny said to everyone, "You know, there's a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say..."

This time again, Johnny's mother was in the kitchen and came stomping in after having heard him. She said demandingly as she gathered his friends together and shuffled them towards the door, "Okay kids, it's getting late. All of you will have to leave now."

Little Johnny was puzzled and yelled back at them, "Hey! Hold on, hold on! There's still plenty of time 'cause the bus doesn't leave till morning!"

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Its All Humor

Its All Humor

April Fools Prank for Office workers

Posted: 29 Mar 2011 10:08 AM PDT

April Fools Prank

April Fools Prank has always been a way to celebrate April Fools Day, hope you will play well at your office workers ;)

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Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallys in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily.

Suddenly, the skies opened and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies, etc.

"That man's persistence yonder," observed one of the natives, "sure makes it easy to know who to vote for."

"Yep," the sheltered candidate agreed. "Sure couldn't see myself casting a vote for a man who hasn't the good sense to come in out of the rain."

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Monday, March 28, 2011

You have 750,000.00 Pounds In BPO Promo . Provide


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Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me." he said, opening the gate and walking in.

After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell! Follow me, we're almost there."

After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance. Again they walk and for the third time Peter drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him.

Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell. A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off. "Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Peter asks.

"Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied.

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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes


Posted: 27 Mar 2011 05:01 AM PDT

Jenkins, a newly wedded suburbanite, kissed his wife goodby the other morning, and, telling her he would be home at six o'clock that evening, got into his auto and started for town.

At six o'clock no hubby had appeared, and the little wife began to get nervous. When the hour of midnight arrived she could bear the suspense no longer, so she aroused her father and sent him off to the telegraph office with six telegrams to as many brother Elks living in town, asking each if her husband was stopping with him overnight.

Morning came, and the frantic wife had received no intelligence of the missing man. As dawn appeared, a farm wagon containing a farmer and the derelict husband drove up to the house, while behind the wagon trailed the broken-down auto. Almost simultaneously came a messenger boy with an answer to one of the telegrams, followed at intervals by five others. All of them read:

"Yes, John is spending the night with me."—Bush Phillips.

BOY—"Come quick, there's a man been fighting my father more'n half an hour."

POLICEMAN—"Why didn't you tell me before?"

BOY—"'Cause father was getting the best of it till a few minutes ago."


Posted: 27 Mar 2011 05:00 AM PDT

MR. SLIMPURSE—"But why do you insist that our daughter should marry a man whom she does not like? You married for love, didn't you?"

MRS. SLIMPURSE—"Yes; but that is no reason why I should let our daughter make the same blunder."

MAUDE—"Jack is telling around that you are worth your weight in gold."

ETHEL—"The foolish boy. Who is he telling it to?"

MAUDE—"His creditors."

RICH MAN—"Would you love my daughter just as much if she had no money?"

SUITOR—"Why, certainly!"

RICH MAN—"That's sufficient. I don't want any idiots in this family."

Saturday, March 26, 2011

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Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes


Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:33 PM PDT

"I ain't losing any faith in human nature," said Uncle Eben, "but I kain't he'p noticin' dat dere's allus a heap mo' ahticles advertised 'Lost' dan dar is 'Found.'"

"What were you in for?" asked the friend.
"I found a horse."
"Found a horse? Nonsense! They wouldn't jug you for finding a horse."
"Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him."

"Party that lost purse containing twenty dollars need worry no longer—it has been found."—Brooklyn Life.

A lawyer having offices in a large office building recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly prized. Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link somewhere in the building he posted this notice:
"Lost. A gold cuff-link. The owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its immediate return."
That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to observe that appended thereto were these lines:
"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."

CHINAMAN—"You tellee me where railroad depot?"
CITIZEN—"What's the matter, John? Lost?"
CHINAMAN—"No! me here. Depot lost."


Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:30 PM PDT

"Have you lost another tooth, Bethesda?" asked auntie, who noticed an unusual lisp.
"Yes'm," replied the four-year-old, "and I limp now when I talk."


Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:10 PM PDT

A distinguished librarian is a good follower of Chesterton. He says: "To my way of thinking, a great librarian must have a clear head, a strong hand and, above all, a great heart. Such shall be greatest among librarians; and when I look into the future, I am inclined to think that most of the men who will achieve this greatness will be women."