Monday, July 9, 2018

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Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job.

The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy portagee, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

The boss says, "What in the world is that?"

Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine."

"Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99".

Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree.

"Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's - dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Boudreaux so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100."

Boudreaux stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir - 100."

The boss looks at Boudreaux's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time."

He then tells Boudreaux, "Go on Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100."

Boudreaux leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree", so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an 'a turd, which makes 100.

When do I start my job?"


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Friday, July 6, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Ways To Annoy Public Bathroom Friends

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. "Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. "Damn, this water is cold."

6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

7. "Now how did that get there?"

8. "Hummus. Reminds me of hummus."

9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

10. "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

12. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"

13. "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

14. "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

16. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.

17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."


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Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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A young blonde college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."


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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Trends And Styles

 

Pets a Fashion

Trends And Styles
The animals are part of the family; as another member, sometimes they are spoiled, and even treated as a people. Feelings toward them grow every day, life is responsible of including them in society, for this reason there is canine fashion.This trend has emerged specifically for dogs of different races that are part of the household, the household pets. Although it occurs more easily for smaller races, who better dog handling is achieved.Anthony Rubio is one of the most sought designers by those animal lovers in New York, a city fashion icon in the world. His passion was born by the canine fashion world.
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Upcoming Pet Fashion Trends
It's time to usher in a new revolution for our furry friends where their world becomes more colorful and stylish. Yes, we are talking about pet fashion which has become so HUGE globally. And now, globally, the multi-billion fashion industry for pets has grown almost in tandem with humans. In fact, you even have fashion maestros like Gucci who has jumped into the four-legged fashion fray and created a stylish line of backpacks for dogs. Not to forget the super chic New York Pet Fashion Week this had our wonder furry tails.
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Secret Menu for Dogs
For the secret menu obsessed, few national chains offer as many choices as Starbucks. There's the secret purple drink, the older news secret pink drink, and even a secret sneaky lid function. As far as customization goes, Starbucks pretty much rules the lot with a whopping reported 17,000 ways you can customize your drink and that's just for humans.Starbucks has quietly been serving up a whole other secret menu just for dogs. So far, it consists of one item, a top seller and crowd favorite: the Puppuccino. It is as adorable as it sounds, too. The drink comes in a dog-appropriate size an espresso cup and consists solely of whipped cream.
                                                                 

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Top Ten Surprises In The Dick Cheney Interview

10. Admitted he's the guy who popped a cap in Suge Knight

9. Sentenced himself to a week at Gitmo

8. He's engaged to Katie Holmes

7. Revealed list of the next ten old guys he plans to shoot

6. Pinned Brit Hume to the wall with a ninja throwing star

5. Chalked the whole thing up to 'roid rage

4. Spent most of the time talking about who's going to win "American Idol"

3. His clumsy attempt to pin the entire thing on Michael Brown

2. Claims it was all part of the plan to make Bush look smarter

1. Stunning admission: "The gun was loaded and so was I"


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Monday, July 2, 2018

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Little Johnny runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks,"What's that Mommy?"

A little embarrassed, she tells him "That is my sponge." Johnny is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys.

Some time later, Johnny catches his mother in the shower shortly after she has shaved her bush for bikini season. Johnny asks her, "Where is your sponge mommy?"

Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Johnny is a little worried and promises his mommy that he will help her find it. His mother says okay and goes back to showering.

Soon, Johnny comes running back in and says that he has found his mother's sponge. "What do you mean you found my sponge? Where?"

"The lady next door has it and she's washing Daddy's face with it!"


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