Friday, November 28, 2014

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Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!"

"And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"


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Thursday, November 27, 2014

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also do a gram of Cocaine a day, a case of whiskey a week, eat junk food and never exercise."

"That's amazing," said the woman. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-nine," he said.


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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Jody and Sara live in the swamps of Louisiana.
One day Sara came up missing.

It took three days for all of the locals and the sheriff to find Sara. The sheriff says to Jody, "I have bad news and I have good news about Sara."

"What is the bad news", asks Jody?

"We found Sara face down in the swamp, she's dead."

"Well what kind of good news can there be", ask Jody?

The Sheriff responded, "We got 24 blue crab off her, we decided to leave for another 3 days and run her again."


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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter came out to meet them and asked, "What would you like to hear your relatives and friends say at your funeral?"

The first man answered, "I am a renowned doctor, and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving people's lives and giving them a second chance."

The second man replied, "I am a family man and a school teacher. I would like to hear someone say what a great husband and father I was and that I made a difference in some young people's lives."

The third man replied, "Wow guys, those are all really great things, but I guess if I had the chance I would rather hear someone say, 'Look! He's moving!'"


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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs "was I getting in or out of the bath?".

The 94 year old yells back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells "was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."


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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Kenny plays Magic: The Gathering Tonight on an All-New South Park!

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