Jokes: September 2010

Monday, September 6, 2010

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me obtain a divorce. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with."

"What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?"

"No, he doesn't," replied the woman, "and neither does the little queer."

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Casinos online

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Friday, September 3, 2010

Its All Humor

Phua Chu Kang sex explanation

Posted: 03 Sep 2010 03:01 AM PDT

Aloy: Why is making love so enjoyable?
PCK: Aiya, ah boy, enjoyable bcos, jus like when you dig your nose
with your finger ma!
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Aloy: Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK: Of course woman lah! When you dig your nose, your nose feel
better than your finger, right?
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Aloy: Why do women hate it when they get raped?
PCK: Aiya! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over
and dig your nose, you like or not? Eh? Don't pray pray ah?

Aloy: Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK: Oi!! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh? Siao ah? Use
your Blain, use your blain…
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Aloy: Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making
love?
PCK: Eh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove
on your finger or not? Not the same shiok feeling ma. Collect
or not?
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Aloy: Why is making love carried out in private?
PCK: Ah boy, use your blain, use your blain. You go and dig your
nose in flont of your whole class isit? Stupid lah!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aloy: Wah... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good?
PCK: Aiya... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also!

Short Funny Jokes

FUNNY JOKES KISSES

Posted: 03 Sep 2010 06:19 AM PDT

"What is he so angry with you for?"

"I haven't the slightest idea. We met in the street, and we were talking just as friendly as could be, when all of a sudden he flared up and tried to kick me."

"And what were you talking about?"

"Oh, just ordinary small talk. I remember he said, 'I always kiss my wife three or four times every day.'"

"And what did you say?"

"I said, 'I know at least a dozen men who do the same,' and then he had a fit."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES KISSES

Posted: 03 Sep 2010 06:16 AM PDT

"If I should kiss you I suppose you'd go and tell your mother."

"No; my lawyer."

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Heather and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading her mom's thoughts, Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother which read:
"Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
"Love - Mum"

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Funny Jokes - Kaiser Wilhelm

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 07:06 AM PDT

One afternoon Kaiser Wilhelm caustically reproved old General Von Meerscheidt for some small lapses.

"If your Majesty thinks that I am too old for the service please permit me to resign," said the General.

"No; you are too young to resign," said the Kaiser.

In the evening of that same day, at a court ball, the Kaiser saw the old General talking to some young ladies, and he said:

"General, take a young wife, then your excitable temperament will vanish."

"Excuse me, your Majesty," replied the General. "It would kill me to have both a young wife and a young Emperor."

Short Funny Jokes - EUROPEAN SOCIETY

Posted: 01 Sep 2010 03:27 PM PDT

FIRST EUROPEAN SOCIETY LADY—"Wouldn't you like to be presented to our sovereign?"

SECOND E.S.L.—"No. Simply because I have to be governed by a man is no reason why I should condescend to meet him socially."

Funny Jokes - The present King George..

Posted: 01 Sep 2010 03:26 PM PDT

The present King George in his younger days visited Canada in company with the Duke of Clarence. One night at a ball in Quebec, given in honor of the two royalties, the younger Prince devoted his time exclusively to the young ladies, paying little or no attention to the elderly ones and chaperons.

His brother reprimanded him, pointing out to him his social position and his duty as well.

"That's all right," said the young Prince. "There are two of us. You go and sing God save your Grandmother, while I dance with the girls."