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Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! Funny Joke Rating New Jokes.

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. Becoming aware of Mary’s heroic act, the medical director immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news, he said "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead." Mary replied, "He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry." On-line Dating  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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Wise Old Indian An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eying two U.S. government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his material wealth. You've seen his progress.You've seen his wars." The chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." The chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that." On-line Dating  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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Mobile Love Posted: 27 Oct 2010 06:30 AM PDT Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am at the shop now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2010 hot models. I saw one I really liked." MAN : " How much ? " WOMAN : " $70,000 " MAN: "Really, go for it? But at that price make sure you get it with all the options!" WOMAN: "Thank you honey" Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market" MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer." WOMAN: "They're asking $750,000." MAN: " Go ahead and give them an offer of $700,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $50,000 because it's really what you want." WOMAN : "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then turns and asks: "Anyone know who's this phone belongs to?"

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Two guys in a life raft in the middle of the ocean. One sees an old bottle floating. He picks it up and rubs it,and a genie comes out.

The genie says, "For letting me out, I will grant you one wish." The guy says, (without thinking) "Turn this ocean into beer". And the ocean turns into the best beer anybody has ever tasted.

The second guy says to the first, "You idiot, now we'll have to piss in the boat".

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