Thursday, February 28, 2013

NEW SERIES: The Ben Show and Nathan For You tonight

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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Kroll Show tonight: Car trouble, ice dating, and El Chupacabra

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KROLL SHOW
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Monday, February 25, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for February 25

Aha!Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Feb. 25, 2013!
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Psychiatrists' Confessional

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them got together after to chat about the convention. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems."

Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."

The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."

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Crazy Laws - Oklahoma

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.

Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.

No one may spit on a sidewalk.

Women are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.

Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)

Anyone arrested for soliciting a prostitute must have their name and picture shown on television.

It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.

Whaling is illegal.

Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.

In Ada OK, if you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.

In Hawthahorne OK, it is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.

In Oklahoma City OK, no one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.

In Schulter OK, women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

In Tulsa OK, you may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.

In Tulsa OK, Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.

Video of the Week

How to Catch a Kangaroo

Ever wanted a kangaroo of your very own? This short video will show you how to nab a wild kangaroo!

Check out this and other hilarious videos sure to make you laugh in our Funny Videos section.

Picture of the Week

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Friday, February 22, 2013

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Little Johnny came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically... so he asked his dad.

His dad said, "Well Johnny, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000.

He went and asked and came back and said, "She said yes".

"Well", said the dad, "Go ask your sister the same question."

He did and came back and said, "She said yes."

And the dad said, "Now go ask your brother the same thing."

He did and came back and said, "He said yes too!"

And the dad said, "Well Johnny, hypothetically we’re sitting on three million dollars, realistically we’re living with 2 whores and a fag!


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Thursday, February 21, 2013

A Weekend of Comedy Central Uncensored on the Strip

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Comedy Central Vegas. 2 Stages. 5 Stand-Ups. A Weekend of Comic Proportions
Amy Schumer Anthony Jeselnik
Nick Swardson Dave Attell and Jim Norton
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For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at a country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."


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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Experience the video game for life after graduation

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KROLL SHOW
POST GRAD IS THE VIDEO GAME THAT ALLOWS YOU TO PLAY OUT LIFE AFTER GRADUATION
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