Friday, March 29, 2013

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


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Thursday, March 28, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Presents: Bootleg Toys

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Bootleg Toys

If there's one thing kids love, it's getting new toys. Toy companies come up with the flashiest, coolest looking things they can, hoping to create a hit that every child wants. Some companies are a little less scrupulous and try to cash in on these hits with their own knockoffs.

Pity the child that gets one of these for the birthday!

Be sure to forward to your friends, and spread the laughter!
Sheriff Woody?


The helpful lettering lets you know yes, this is Batman.


It's-a me!


Ninjas are known for their noisy flashing machine guns.


Does whatever a spader can.


Perhaps they were worried they'd get sued if they kept the "Hello"?


I'd watch Robert Cop.


Finally, a toy line based on the hit film!


This duck is pretty amusing to be fair.


Monica is my favorite Pocket Monica.


Professional quality paintjob on those Pocket Monica figures.


I'd probably still be watching this show if this had ever happened in it.


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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his car phone.

"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful! There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".

"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"


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Monday, March 25, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for March 25

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Mar. 25, 2013!
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The Unfortunate Guard

Have you heard the one about the home security guard who got fired for saving his boss's life?

One day the guard dreamed the his boss was going to be in a plane crash on a business trip to Zimbabwe. Upon learning that his boss was soon going to be flying to Zimbabwe he told his boss about the dream he had, and convinced his boss to cancel it.

The next day on the news they learned that the plane did indeed crash. The boss gave him a reward, and then fired him on the spot, saying that a good guard shouldn't be sleeping on the job!

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Crazy Laws - South Carolina

A person must be eighteen years old to play a pinball machine.

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.

A permit must be obtained to fire a missle.

Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.

Video of the Week

Maine Coon Cat in Box

This cat thought he found himself a new home, but it looks like he'll be stuck there for awhile!

Check out this and other hilarious videos sure to make you laugh in our Funny Videos section.

Picture of the Week

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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Presents: Worst Ad Placements

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Worst Ad Placement

Marketing is a tricky business! Companies spend millions to make sure you see their product in a positive light, exactly they way they want it look. Unfortunately for them, they can't control everything!

These ads didn't quite turn out the way they were planned (or so we hope!)

Be sure to forward to your friends, and spread the laughter!
I hope their planes aren't usually at that angle!


Fabulous might not be the right word...


There's a latte to be said about this one.


Some power moves should be kept to yourself.


"My condolences" would be a more tactful response!


Booth who?


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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Workaholics Season Finale Tonight: #TheFutureIsGnar

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Monday, March 18, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for March 18

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Mar. 18, 2013!
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Adopted Twins

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Crazy Laws - Rhode Island

It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.

Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.

No one may bite off another's leg.

It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

In Providence, RI, you may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

Video of the Week

Goats Yelling Like Humans

Just try not to crack up at these goats! You might just mistake them for an annoying coworker

Check out this and other hilarious videos sure to make you laugh in our Funny Videos section.

Picture of the Week

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Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Walsh Brothers Terrorize Los Angeles

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