Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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Tommy O’Shaughnessy’s Confession "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I’ve been with a loose woman." The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O’Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, ’tis I." "And who might be the woman you were with?" "I shan’t be tellin’ you, Father. It would ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I’m bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?" "I’ll never tell." "Was it Lisa O’Shanter?" "I’m sorry, but I’ll not name her." "Was it Cathy O’Dell?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Fiona Mallory, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You’re a steadfast lad, Tommy O’Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you’ve sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now." Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slidesover and whispers, "What’d you get?" "Five more good leads!" Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program Jokes for Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK 1. Open a new file in your computer. 2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton" 3. Send it to the trash. 4. Empty the trash. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?" 6. Firmly Click "Yes." 7. Feel better. Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

George Bush and Richard Cheney go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Bush, "You ready to order?" Bush replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your political life that your the president and I'm a waitress, I don't think that's a good idea. I'll come back when you're ready to order from the menu." She walks away. Cheney leans over to Bush and says, "It's pronounced 'Quiche.'" Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Cartman Infiltrates the NSA, Tonight on the South Park Season Premiere!!

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LET GO, LET GOV: Cartman wants to hold the government accountable for secretly monitoring all of his personal information in an all-new episode of "South Park" titled, "Let Go, Let Gov" premiering TONIGHT at 10p EST on COMEDY CENTRAL. "Raising The Bar" was honored with a Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program! This marks the 5th Emmy win for South Park, in addition to the prestigious Peabody® Award. Watch all the South Park Emmy nominees and winners in this new collection. Raising the Bar Live Tweet Event TONIGHT - go behind the scenes of "Raising The Bar" with @SouthPark! Join us for a LIVE-TWEET event at 9:30p ET/6:30p PT on Comedy Central and Twitter. Then stay tuned for the Season 17 Premiere!! Privacy Policy | Unsubscribe Comedy Central | 345 Hudson | New York, New York 10014 Copyright 1995 - 2013 Comedy Central