| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don’t stand a chance old man. So, just to be fair I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third gay rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story.... Don’t mess with the OLD FARTS - age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Weight Loss Tips || Funny T-Shirts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Monday, December 30, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
Friday, December 27, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| On their second night after the wedding, the two blissful newlyweds shut off the lights and crawl under the sheets. Turning anxiously towards his bride, he tenderly informs his wife that tonight he wants a hand job instead of the usual stuff. She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what a "hand job" was. So, she gets out of bed, puts on her robe and heads for the phone to call her mom. "Mom," she says, "My new hubby wants a hand job and I don't know what he means." "Oh, Honey," says her mother, "that's real simple. Just grab his thing and shake it like you were trying to get ketchup out of a bottle." "Gee, Mom, that's easy enough," she replies. So she hangs up the phone, removes her robe and crawls back into the sack. She snuggles up to her lover, grabs his thing firmly with one hand and starts beating the end with the other. Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Cada dia uma cor para você... verde #esperança
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Thursday, December 26, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving." Weight Loss Tips || Funny T-Shirts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel", replied the madam. "Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man. "Oh, we're having a yard sale today." Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for December 24
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Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went." "You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot." Weight Loss Tips || Funny T-Shirts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Monday, December 23, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| Only a Mexican Wife The sick Mexican husband was laying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He dearly loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his querida Chita's tamales. With every last bit of the energy left in his mind and body, the terminally ill husband pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. Here, his wife was removing the fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his corazon, Chita, smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon: "Leave them alone, pendejo! ...They're for the funeral!" Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan || Crazy T-Shirts If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
#ultimasemana com 90% de Desconto!
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Friday, December 20, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| Two guys were working for the city. One would furiously dig a hole, then the other would come behind him and quickly fill the hole. They were drenched in sweat. A man watching from the sidewalk couldn't believe how hard they were working, but also couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he said: "I'm confused. You dig a hole and then your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!" The digger leaned on his shovel and replied, "Oh yeah, it must look funny. You see, the lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today!" Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| Walking up to the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so ticked off!" "Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damn husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" "Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender. "Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on. "When her husband came into the room, he said, 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And the lazy son of a bitch urinated out the window right onto my head." "Yuck!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood." "Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out the window. And where does it land? On my damn forehead!" "Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender. "Oh, I'm not finished. What really ticked me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his butt out the window and let loose right on my head!" The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day." "Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY ticked me off? When I looked down, I noticed that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!" Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan || Crazy T-Shirts If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
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