Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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New Federal Agency Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was actually the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of agencies , FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, SS, ATF, etc. Now Congress is considering a proposal for another agency: The "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can’t you just see it now? The new service in their black uniforms with their initials in large white letters across their backs? "FATASS " Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing... there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

There were three guys who went to hell. When they got there, the Devil told them they were going to be locked up in a jail for 1,000 years. All of them agreed with the Devil, but wanted to make a Deal. The Devil said, "What do you want?" The first guy said, "I want ALL the Beer in the world!!!"...So the Devil granted his wish and locked him up with ALL the Beer in the world. The second guy said, "I want ALL the Beautiful women in the world!!!"...So the Devil gave him ALL the Beautiful women in the world, and locked him up. The third guy said, "I want ALL the Pot In The World!!!"...So the Devil locked him up with ALL the Pot he can get. After a 1,000 years passed, the Devil opened the first guys door and asked the guy, "Like the Beer?", and the guy said, "No! I never want to drink beer again...tired of it!!" The Devil then opened the second guy's door and asked the guy, "Liked all the Beautiful Women?", and the guy said "NO!! All women do is argue and complain about little things!!!...I'm tired of them!!!" So the Devil went on to the third guy's door, and saw him crying in a corner...so he asked, "What's wrong?" The guy looked up at the Devil and said, "Do you have any matches or lighters...*sniffle sniffle*?" Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

An 80-year-old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said, "Friend, for your age you're in the best shape I've seen." The old man replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The doctor asked, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night." The doc was concerned. "You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said. "I just want you to know," the doctor said. "Your husband's in fine physical shape but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "He what?" she cried. "He said every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "Aha!" she exclaimed. "So he's the one who's been peeing in the refrigerator!" Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here