Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool. 'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. 'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.' 'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!' Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program Jokes for Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

The little girl was SO proud of her Christmas presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that watch in their ear and insisting that they smell her perfume. The preacher was coming for lunch, but before his arrival, the girl's mother had said, "If you mention that watch or that perfume just once more, I'm going to send you to your room for the rest of the day." The meal went rather well, and the little girl held her tongue until just when the desert was being served. She wanted to make sure that the preacher, too, knew about her new watch and her perfume: "If you hear anything or smell anything ... it's me!" Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

The stories from ER: A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program Jokes for Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

Juan and Julio are illegally crossing the US border between Mexico and Arizona. Trudging through the desert sands, they are hungry and thirsty, hoping to find one of the many water stations set up for just such as they, when Julio comes to a sudden stop. Julio sniffs the air. "Juan, do you smell that?" "What?" "It smells like bacon!" Juan snorts. "Bacon, in the middle of the desert? You are loco." "It is bacon," Julio insists. "It must be a bacon tree!" With that Julio sprints over a sand dune and into the hands of the US Border Patrol. As they are being handcuffed and whisked away for deportation, Juan looks angrily at his amigo. "Well, Julio. You were close. It wasn't a bacon tree." "It was a ham bush." Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK 1. Open a new file in your computer. 2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton" 3. Send it to the trash. 4. Empty the trash. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?" 6. Firmly Click "Yes." 7. Feel better. Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

An old woman was rocking away the last of her days on her front porch and reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appeared and informed her that she would be granted 3 wishes! "Well, now," said the old lady, "I've always wanted to be rich!" *POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." *POOF* She turned into a beautiful young woman. "And your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wandered across the porch. "Ooooh! Can you turn him into a handsome prince?" She asked. *POOF* There stood a young man, more handsome then anyone could possibly imagine. She stared at him, smitten. With a smile that made her knees weak, he sauntered across the porch and leaned over close to her. Then he whispered in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered, aren't you?" Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!" Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me." Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door." Weight Loss Tips  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

Overheard in a bar: Him: "I woke up with a hard-on this morning, and it had your name written all over it." Her: "I'm sure my name is far too long to fit the whole thing on your dick." Him: "Oh, yeah? What's your name?" Her: "Lu." Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program Jokes for Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter

A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Never goes sour. 3. Available whenever necessary. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes. He received an A. Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here