HumorJokez

Posted: 25 Apr 2009 12:01 AM PDT

A man who smelled like a distillery seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Educational Jokes - Two sophomores

Posted: 24 Apr 2009 12:49 PM PDT

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores
who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the
quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid
"A's."

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the
weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday),
they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some
friends.

So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying
longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until
early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found
Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed
it. They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had
planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on
the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long
time. So they were late getting back to campus.

Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on
the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they
studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had
told them.

He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and
told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was
something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points.
"Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem
and then turned the page.

They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.

It said: (95 points) "Which tire?"