The Jokester's Latest Joke: A Glass of Cider

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Songs from the Hospital "Hit Parade"   * I'll be Sewing You.     * Red Cells in the Sunset.     * It's Spleen a Long, Long Time.     * It Had to Be Flu.     * On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma.     * Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney.     * The Staphs and Streps Forever.     * Old Man's Liver.     * I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace.     * The Girl from Emphysema.     * MRI Blue?     * My Melancolicky Baby.     * From Here to Maternity.     Surgery A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery. On the day he was admitted his mother asked Dr. could you please circumcise him while he is asleep.   The Dr. agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days.   After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery.   The little boy replied 'all I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are.'     Awareness Test Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.   En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"   The old man slowly looked up at him and then gazed out the ambulance window.   "Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."   Splinter in My Finger A youth walks into the kitchen where his mom is fixing dinner. "Mom, I got a splinter in my finger. Can I have a glass of cider?" "Are you sure you don't want me to pull it out?" "No thanks, just the cider." So she gives him the cider and watches him trot contentedly off. About fifteen minutes later the boy returns to the kitchen and again asks his mother for a glass of cider. His mother, not wanting to question his reasoning, gives him another glass and again watches him leave happy. Ten minutes later the boy returns once again and asks for a glass of cider. The mother complies with her son's wishes again, but her curiosity has been piqued to the point where she can't resist knowing why any longer. So she wanders into the family room and sees her son sitting in front of the TV with his finger in the glass.   "Why on earth do you have your finger in that glass?" she asks.   "Well, Mom, I heard Sis on the phone say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
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