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| Heartless Things to Say in the Ladies Dressing Room That's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it? I saw a dress just like that one in Woolworths yesterday. Hey, get out of here you filthy pervert! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a man... I had a dress like that. My boyfriend made me throw it away because he said it made me look like Edna Everage. Pardon me, but I think that will clash terribly with your pimples... Excuse me, but would you stop staring at me? Yes, YOU Look, if you're that desperate to attract a man I'll fix you up myself Excuse me for asking, but you seem to know something I don't. Is the 'plain, severe and drab' look in this season? Size 12? That's a bit optimistic isn't it? Hi, I'm from Weightwatchers I wouldn't buy that dress if I were you. All it does is accentuate your roots Excuse me, but since you're obviously color blind would you like any help? Isn't it funny how some clothes just accentuate the tummy like that? God, you're fat. Don't you care about yourself? I'm sorry, I owe you an apology. I'm the store detective and I followed you in here because I thought you'd stuffed six dresses, four skirts and a raincoat up your jumper but I can see now that it's really all you... More Nastiness Q - What's the best form of birth control after 50? A - Nudity. Q - What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A - 45 minutes. Q - How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A - None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. Q - Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? A - Because those men already have boyfriends. Q - What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A - After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Q - What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A - The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Q - What do you call a smart blonde? A - A golden retriever. Q - Why does the bride always wear white? A - Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and Refrigerator. Q - A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? A - The blonde, because she's 18. Q - Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A - Ask your Mom. Q - What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? A - Say, "Nice Dick." Q - Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? A - Because they have cotton balls. Q - What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A - A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Q - What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A - "Are you sure it's mine?" Q - What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? A - Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. Q - Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? A - Mace will do that to you. Q - Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? A - Everyone has the same DNA. Q - What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A - A speech impediment. Q - Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A - Breasts don't have eyes. Q - What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? A - A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. Q - What's the Cuban National Anthem? A - Row row row your boat. Q - What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A - A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this!" | ||
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