Thursday, May 7, 2009

Its All Humor

Its All Humor

Engineer VS Management

Posted: 07 May 2009 01:53 AM PDT

Engineer VS Management
(Plz Do not take it personal if you are engineer or manager...
its a joke for smiling not a poke..!)

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but
I don't know where I am.'

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and
between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist.
'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is
technically correct, but I've no idea what
to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help to
me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more.'

The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'

'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and
you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems.'

War Is Hell... or not

Posted: 06 May 2009 06:53 PM PDT

What could be this drink which the soldier is about to drink... Imagine...
War Is Hell... Or Not..

Fast Food Job Application

Posted: 06 May 2009 06:47 PM PDT

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment........

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Posted by Anonymous at 1:02 PM

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