|
| From the Jokester | Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net |
| Help the Jokester’s eMail List Grow, | ||
| | ||
| Answers Given By 2nd Grade School Children to the Following Questions!! Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom? 1. We're related 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home& dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. The Vocabulary of a Mother * Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the children would care to order dessert. * Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. * Full Name: What you call your child when you're angry with him. * Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. * Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say. * Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into. * Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours. * Whodunit: None of the children who live in your house. * Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am Mommy Jacqui After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room, putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, 'Who was "that"?' Factory Fight There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers, so they were called the "Mother Frockers." The factory across the street made corks for wine bottles. They had to soak the corks before they could put them into the bottles, so they were called the "Cork Soakers." | ||
| Feel Free To Submit Some Of Your Favorite Jokes | ||
| See This Joke & Matching Picture at: www.TheJokester.net | ||
| Help My Joke List Grow: Invite friends and family at If you got this email from a friend, | ||
All the Best: Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}.
Subscription Information:
ü Jokes are customarily sent 3 - 5 times per week covering a range of hopefully (?) humorous subjects!
ü Just remember, don't blame the messenger: I only send the jokes, I don't write them.
ü To unsubscribe see the instructions below or send me an email (be sure to tell me which group you joined).
ü But Wait! Before you unsubscribe, stop and think about it. Have you given the jokes enough time? The occasional bad joke is to be expected. Hang in there, maybe the next joke will make your day!?!?
From Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}: Jokester@TheJokester.net
--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "The Jokester" group.
To post to this group, send email to TheJokester@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to TheJokester+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/TheJokester?hl=en
-~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
0 comments:
Post a Comment