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| Ways to Spend the $250 Million Powerball Jackpot 10. A Twinkie for everyone in the country. 9. Develop and market an action-figure doll of yourself. 8. Get yourself one a' them "Pentagon quality" toilet bowls. 7. Buy the biggest trailer in West Virginia, and then put a new BMW on blocks in the front yard. 6. Pay for a top-notch therapist to deal with the feeling that, compared to Bill Gates, you're still not rich. 5. At long last: a home-slurpee machine of your VERY OWN! 4. Four words: Prank call to Antarctica. 3. Goodbye aluminum siding: Hello golden siding. 2. Get it all in pennies and ride the horse in front of K-mart, FOREVER! 1. Donate it to a college. Then they can name a building after you: "Lucky Bastard Hall" Ways To Get Rid Of Stress · Fill out every credit card application and magazine subscription you get and have them bill you later. · Use your Master Card to pay your Visa and vice-versa. · Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. · When someone says "have a nice day," tell them you have other plans. · Make a list of things to do that you have already done. · Do your assignments in binary code. · Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room. · Fill-out your tax form using Roman Numerals. · Make up a language and ask people for directions in it. · Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper. · Write a short story using alphabet soup. · Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. · Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. · Pay your electric bill in pennies. · Start a rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. Newspaper Contest to imitate "Deep Thoughts " * I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15 * Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13 * Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10 * For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6 * Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! --Age 6 * As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7 * Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15 * It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5 * If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15 | ||
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