Short Funny Jokes |
| Funny Jokes - Fire Departments Posted: 06 May 2009 01:38 AM PDT Clang, clatter, bang! Down the street came the fire engines. Driving along ahead, oblivious of any danger, was a farmer in a ramshackle old buggy. A policeman yelled at him: "Hi there, look out! The fire department's coming." Turning in by the curb the farmer watched the hose cart, salvage wagon and engine whiz past. Then he turned out into the street again and drove on. Barely had he started when the hook and ladder came tearing along. The rear wheel of the big truck slewed into the farmer's buggy, smashing it to smithereens and sending the farmer sprawling into the gutter. The policeman ran to his assistance. "Didn't I tell ye to keep out of the way?" he demanded crossly. "Didn't I tell ye the fire department was comin"?" "Wall, consarn ye," said the peeved farmer, "I did git outer the way for th' fire department. But what in tarnation was them drunken painters in sech an all-fired hurry fer?"  |
| Very Funny Jokes - After Dinner Speeches Posted: 05 May 2009 07:37 AM PDT Joseph H. Choate and Chauncey Depew were invited to a dinner. Mr. Choate was to speak, and it fell to the lot of Mr. Depew to introduce him, which he did thus: "Gentlemen, permit me to introduce Ambassador Choate, America's most inveterate after-dinner speaker. All you need to do to get a speech out of Mr. Choate is to open his mouth, drop in a dinner and up comes your speech." Mr. Choate thanked the Senator for his compliment, and then said: "Mr. Depew says if you open my mouth and drop in a dinner up will come a speech, but I warn you that if you open your mouths and drop in one of Senator Depew's speeches up will come your dinners."  |
| Posted: 05 May 2009 07:33 AM PDT Another couple advertised: "WANTED: A governess who is good stenographer, to take down the clever sayings of our child."  |
| Posted: 05 May 2009 07:27 AM PDT It is better to decide a difference between enemies than friends, for one of our friends will certainly become an enemy and one of our enemies a friend.  |
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