Short Funny Jokes |
| Posted: 06 Jun 2009 01:15 AM PDT William Phillips, our secretary of embassy at London, tells of an American officer who, by the kind permission of the British Government, was once enabled to make a week's cruise on one of His Majesty's battleships. Among other things that impressed the American was the vessel's Sunday morning service. It was very well attended, every sailor not on duty being there. At the conclusion of the service the American chanced to ask one of the jackies: "Are you obliged to attend these Sunday morning services?" "Not exactly obliged to, sir," replied the sailor-man, "but our grog would be stopped if we didn't, sir."—Edwin Tarrisse.  |
| Posted: 06 Jun 2009 01:12 AM PDT When "Bob" Burdette was addressing the graduating class of a large eastern college for women, he began his remarks with the usual salutation, "Young ladies of '97." Then in a horrified aside he added, "That's an awful age for a girl!"  |
| Posted: 05 Jun 2009 07:43 AM PDT A western politician tells the following story as illustrating the inconveniences attached to campaigning in certain sections of the country. Upon his arrival at one of the small towns in South Dakota, where he was to make a speech the following day, he found that the so-called hotel was crowded to the doors. Not having telegraphed for accommodations, the politician discovered that he would have to make shift as best he could. Accordingly, he was obliged for that night to sleep on a wire cot which had only some blankets and a sheet on it. As the politician is an extremely fat man, he found his improvised bed anything but comfortable. "How did you sleep?" asked a friend in the morning. "Fairly well," answered the fat man, "but I looked like a waffle when I got up."  |
| Posted: 05 Jun 2009 07:40 AM PDT MAGISTRATE—"You admit you stole the pig?" PRISONER—"I 'ave to." MAGISTRATE—"Very well, then. There has been a lot of pig-stealing going on lately, and I am going to make an example of you, or none of us will be safe."—M.L. Hayward.  |
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