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| Second Opinion While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here; we know very little about it.' The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.' The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.' The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease.' The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money dat way. No need to opelate!' Oh, Thank God!' the man replies. 'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two week. Fawl off by self!' New Condom Slogans! Cover your stump before you hump! Before you attack her, wrap your whacker! Don't be silly, protect your Willy! When in doubt, shroud your spout! Don't be a loner, cover your boner! You can't go wrong if you shield your dong! If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it! If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey! If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize! It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter! She won't get sick if you wrap your dick! If you go in heat, package your meat! While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis! When you take off her pants and blouse, zip up your trouser mouse! Especially in December, gift wrap your member! Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker! Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool! The right selection will protect your erection! Wrap it in foil before checking her oil! A crank with armor will never harm her! No glove, no love! | ||
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