Its All Humor |
| Posted: 02 Sep 2009 06:20 AM PDT A woman sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, Bar, when the door opened, and the most beautiful piece of the man she had never seen entered. He was tall, muscular, handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not watch. The man noticed that he was under scrutiny and women with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Flushing, ready to apologize for watching, but he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I will do everything he whispered deep, soft voice." Everything, absolutely everything, everything, everything that you ever fancy, for fifty dollars. There is only one condition ... " Trembling with expectations, the woman asked his state. The man says: "You must tell me what you want me to three words. The women looked at his hypnotic eyes, considering a proposal, then reached into the bag and took out fifty dollars. She wrote her address on a napkin, folded around her money, and pressed his hand in anticipation. She leaned over and whispered in his ear ...  |
| Posted: 01 Sep 2009 09:34 PM PDT The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.  |
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