Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Jokester's Latest Joke: A Weird Halloween

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From the Jokester

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Halloween Humor

 

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

- To improve his bite.

 

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

- Frostbite.

 

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?

- Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

 

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?

- With scare spray.

 

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

- No, they eat the fingers separately.

 

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?

- Because they don't have anybody to go out with.

 

What is a vampire's favorite sport?

- Casketball.

 

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?

- Shrinkenstein.

 

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

- A cereal killer.

 

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

- Dead ends.

 

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

- Bloodhounds.

 

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

- A stake sandwich.

 

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

- A trombone.

 

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

- Tweets.

 

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

- They have bat breath.

 

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?

- He heard it had great circulation.

 

Why don't mummies go on vacation?

- They are afraid that they might relax and unwind

 

 

Weird Dream

Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day, so she went to her doctor.

 

Doctor: What was your dream about?

 

Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!

 

Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like?

 

Blonde: I was running in a hallway.

 

Doctor: Then what happened?

 

Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

 

Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?

 

Blonde: Yes, it did.

 

Doctor: And what did the letters spell?

 

Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L."

 

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