Short Funny Jokes |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:18 PM PDT "Do you think only of me?" murmured the bride. "Tell me that you think only of me." "It's this way," explained the groom gently. "Now and then I have to think of the furnace, my dear."  |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:16 PM PDT "My dear," said the young husband as he took the bottle of milk from the dumb-waiter and held it up to the light, "have you noticed that there's never cream on this milk?" "I spoke to the milkman about it," she replied, "and he explained that the company always fill their bottles so full that there's no room for cream on top."  |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:14 PM PDT A judge, disgusted with a jury that seemed unable to reach an agreement in a perfectly evident case, rose and said, "I discharge this jury." One sensitive talesman, indignant at what he considered a rebuke, obstinately faced the judge. "You can't discharge me," he said in tones of one standing upon his rights. "And why not?" asked the surprised judge. "Because," announced the juror, pointing to the lawyer for the defense, "I'm being hired by that man there!" short funny jokes Bribery  |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:12 PM PDT Dr. Abernethy, the famous Scotch surgeon, was a man of few words, but he once met his match—in a woman. She called at his office in Edinburgh, one day, with a hand badly inflamed and swollen. The following dialogue, opened by the doctor, took place. "Burn?" "Bruise." "Poultice." The next day the woman called, and the dialogue was as follows: "Better?" "Worse." "More poultice." Two days later the woman made another call. "Better?" "Well. Fee?" "Nothing. Most sensible woman I ever saw." Funny Jokes  |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:10 PM PDT Short Funny Jokes Brevity A negro servant, on being ordered to announce visitors to a dinner party, was directed to call out in a loud, distinct voice their names. The first to arrive was the Fitzgerald family, numbering eight persons. The negro announced Major Fitzgerald, Miss Fitzgerald, Master Fitzgerald, and so on. This so annoyed the master that he went to the negro and said, "Don't announce each person like that; say something shorter." The next to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Penny and their daughter. The negro solemnly opened the door and called out, "Thrupence!"  |
| Posted: 19 Oct 2009 10:08 PM PDT An after-dinner speaker was called on to speak on "The Antiquity of the Microbe." He arose and said, "Adam had 'em," and then sat down.  |
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