Short Funny Jokes

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• Joke of the Day ARITHMETIC
• Short Joke
• Funny Short Jokes
• Short Funny Jokes
• Short Jokes ARITHMETIC
• Funny Short Jokes ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL
• Joke of the Day APPLAUSE
• Short Funny Jokes Appearances

Joke of the Day ARITHMETIC Posted: 31 Oct 2009 03:53 AM PDT "Two old salts who had spent most of their lives on fishing smacks had an argument one day as to which was the better mathematician," said George C. Wiedenmayer the other day. "Finally the captain of their ship proposed the following problem which each would try to work out: 'If a fishing crew caught 500 pounds of cod and brought their catch to port and sold it at 6 cents a pound, how much would they receive for the fish?' "Well, the two old fellows got to work, but neither seemed able to master the intricacies of the deal in fish, and they were unable to get any answer. "At last old Bill turned to the captain and asked him to repeat the problem. The captain started off: 'If a fishing crew caught 500 pounds of cod and—.' "'Wait a moment,' said Bill, 'is it codfish they caught?' "'Yep,' said the captain. "'Darn it all,' said Bill. 'No wonder I couldn't get an answer. Here I've been figuring on salmon all the time.'"

Short Joke Posted: 31 Oct 2009 03:52 AM PDT "See how I can count, mama," said Kitty. "There's my right foot. That's one. There's my left foot. That's two. Two and one make three. Three feet make a yard, and I want to go out and play in it!"

Funny Short Jokes Posted: 31 Oct 2009 03:51 AM PDT TEACHER—"Now, Johnny, suppose I should borrow $100 from your father and should pay him $10 a month for ten months, how much would I then owe him?" JOHNNY—"About $3 interest."

Short Funny Jokes Posted: 31 Oct 2009 03:50 AM PDT SONNY—"Aw, pop, I don't wanter study arithmetic." POP—"What! a son of mine grow up and not he able to figure up baseball scores and batting averages? Never!"

Short Jokes ARITHMETIC Posted: 31 Oct 2009 03:49 AM PDT "He seems to be very clever." "Yes, indeed, he can even do the problems that his children have to work out at school."

Funny Short Jokes ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL Posted: 30 Oct 2009 07:33 AM PDT A war was going on, and one day, the papers being full of the grim details of a bloody battle, a woman said to her husband: "This slaughter is shocking. It's fiendish. Can nothing he done to stop it?" "I'm afraid not," her husband answered. "Why don't both sides come together and arbitrate?" she cried. "They did," said he. "They did, 'way back in June. That's how the gol-durned thing started."

Joke of the Day APPLAUSE Posted: 30 Oct 2009 07:00 AM PDT A certain theatrical troupe, after a dreary and unsuccessful tour, finally arrived in a small New Jersey town. That night, though there was no furore or general uprising of the audience, there was enough hand-clapping to arouse the troupe's dejected spirits. The leading man stepped to the foot-lights after the first act and bowed profoundly. Still the clapping continued. When he went behind the scenes he saw an Irish stagehand laughing heartily. "Well, what do you think of that?" asked the actor, throwing out his chest. "What d'ye mane?" replied the Irishman. "Why, the hand-clapping out there," was the reply. "Hand-clapping?" "Yes," said the Thespian, "they are giving me enough applause to show they appreciate me." "D'ye call thot applause?" inquired the old fellow. "Whoi, thot's not applause. Thot's the audience killin' mosquitoes."

Short Funny Jokes Appearances Posted: 30 Oct 2009 06:58 AM PDT "How fat and well your little boy looks." "Ah, you should never judge from appearances. He's got a gumboil on one side of his face and he has been stung by a wasp on the other."

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