Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Jokester's Latest Joke: Old Age is a Gift

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To All The Kids Who Survived The 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

 

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

 

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints..

 

 

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

 

 As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

 

 Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

 

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

 

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

 

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight..  WHY?

 

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

 

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..

 

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.

 

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

 

 We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

 

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

 

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

 

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.

 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

 

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

 

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

 

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

 

 Imagine that!!

 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

 

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

 

 The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

 

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

 

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

 

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

 

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

 

'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

by Jay Leno

 

 

Old Age
The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

 

Old age, I decided, is a gift.

 

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

 

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

 

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

 

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m, and sleep until noon?

 

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's,and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

 

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.

 

They, too, will get old.

 

I know I am sometimes forgetful.

 

But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

 

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.

 

A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

 

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

 

I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

 

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.

 

You care less about what other people think.

 

I don't question myself any more.

 

I've even earned the right to be wrong.

 

So, to answer your question, I like being old.

 

It has set me free.

 

I like the person I have become.

 

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste

 

time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

 

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