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| v You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse. v Now we know why some animals eat their own children. v Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. v Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you. v If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse! v This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. v I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? v When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head. v A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. v Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice. v Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today. v Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you? v Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own. v Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure. v Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another? v He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory. v I bet you get bullied a lot. v I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving. v I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works. v I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening. v I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others. v I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day. v I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you. v I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. v I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion. v I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me. v I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass. v If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid. v I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. v I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before. v I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are. v Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn. v People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. v She's the first in her family born without tail. v That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. v There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them. v What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity. v Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly. v What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home? v You are not even beneath my contempt. v You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way. v You grow on people, but so does cancer. v You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified. v You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one. v You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best. v Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained. v You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet. v And your cry baby whiny assed opinion would be.....? v Do I look like a fucking people person? v This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting. v I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. v I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. v Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer. v If I throw a stick will you leave?? v YOU!.... Off my planet! v If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats. v Does your train of thought have a caboose? v The bible was written by the same people who said the earth was flat. v Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? v Errors have been made, others will be blamed. v Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn. v A hard on doesn't count as personal growth. v Whatever look you were going for, you missed. v Well, this day was a total waste of make-up . v See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. v Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage. v I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable. v I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? v Not all men are annoying, some are dead. v Did I mention that kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me? v It's not the size that coun... no wait, it's the size! v A woman's favorite position is CEO v I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. v A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door. v Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. v I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. v Okay, Okay, I take it back! UnFuck you! v Too many freaks not enough circuses. v Macho law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. v Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? v Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done. v I plead contemporary insanity. v And which dwarf are you? v How do I set the laser printer to stun? | ||
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