Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Jokester's Latest Joke: Reach Out


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Forced Landing

A flight instructor was sent out to help a trainee who had radioed that he was about to make a forced landing a few miles from the base. The instructor spotted the plane standing in a field small enough to present a real challenge to his professional reputation.


With determination, full flaps and engine just above the stall, he maneuvered into the field. Climbing out, he shouted angrily to the trainee, "Just how did you manage to get into such a small field?"


"I landed in the big field over there," the trainee explained, "but in order to leave room for you, I had the farmer tow me here."



5 Riddles

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?


2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?


3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?


4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?


5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!


The Answers To All Five The Riddles Are Below:




1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

That one was easy, right?


2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).


3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.


4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!


5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.


How did you do?




Here Is A Riddle For The Intellectually Minded.

The answer is at the end for those who cannot think this one through!!


At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite sides of the earth: One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers, The other is getting oral sex from an 85 year old woman.  They are each thinking the exact same thing.  What are they both thinking?































Answer: Don't look down



To My Preacher:

I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting.
My eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found
in every city these days.

Wearing what can only be describes as rags, carrying every worldly possession
in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would
somehow contaminate them.

Recalling some long ago Sunday school admonition to 'care for the sick, feed the
hungry, and clothe the naked.' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach
out to this unfortunate person.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty. A small voice inside
my head called out, 'Reach out, reach out and touch this person'!


So I did

And go to the and select December 12th if you do not see the pictures that make this joke complete!



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