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| A Lecture about English A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right." Course Evaluations College students, at the end of a course, are often asked to evaluate the various factors involved in it: Instructor, text, and so forth. Here are some collected comments: "What's the quality of the text? Text is printed on high quality paper." "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room." "He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high." "In class, the syllabus is more important than you are." "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!" "Text makes a satisfying 'thud' when dropped on the floor." "The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree." "His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame" "Textbook is confusing ... someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it." "Have you ever fallen asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term." "This class was a religious experience for me ... I had to take it all on faith." "The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him." "Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material." "Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing - it's a great stress reliever." "He is one of the best teachers I have had ... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure." "I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They've got a cool nest in the tree." "The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon." "TA steadily improved throughout the course ... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up." "Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose - spraying in all directions - no way to stop it." "I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the Led Zeppelin tapes that I used while doing the problem sets." "The course was very thorough. What wasn't covered in class was covered on the final exam." The Beauty of English Oh John please don't touch me at all...! Oh John please don't touch me...! Oh John please don't touch...! Oh John please don't...! Oh John please...! Oh John..! Ohhh...... | ||
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