Short Funny Jokes

SHORT FUNNY JOKES DRAMA
Short Funny Jokes - I am sending.......
Funny Jokes - A Lakewood woman.......
SHORT FUNNY JOKES DOMESTIC FINANCE
FUNNY JOKES - DOGS
Joke of the Day - William J. Stevens.......
Short Funny Jokes - Do you know......
Short Funny Jokes - Visitor
Short Funny Jokes - A family......
SHORT FUNNY JOKES DOGS

Posted: 22 Jan 2010 05:19 AM PST

The young man in the third row of seats looked bored. He wasn't having a good time. He cared nothing for the Shakespearean drama.

"What's the greatest play you ever saw?" the young woman asked, observing his abstraction.

Instantly he brightened.

"Tinker touching a man out between second and third and getting the ball over to Chance in time to nab the runner to first!" he said.

Short Funny Jokes - I am sending.......

Posted: 22 Jan 2010 05:15 AM PST

"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check.

Funny Jokes - A Lakewood woman.......

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 09:48 PM PST

A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she had finished her story she said:

"Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your dear mamma?"

"Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly.

"But why not?"

"Ain't we got a good house to live in?"

"Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know."

"Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?"

"Yes, but that won't last forever."

"It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good looker, ma!"

Mamma gave up right there.

SHORT FUNNY JOKES DOMESTIC FINANCE

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 09:46 PM PST

"Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist himself."

"As to how?"

"Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out yet."—Washington Herald.

FUNNY JOKES - DOGS

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 08:27 AM PST

One would have it that a collie is the most sagacious of dogs, while the other stood up for the setter.

"I once owned a setter," declared the latter, "which was very intelligent. I had him on the street one day, and he acted so queerly about a certain man we met that I asked the man his name, and—"

"Oh, that's an old story!" the collie's advocate broke in sneeringly. "The man's name was Partridge, of course, and because of that the dog came to a set. Ho, ho! Come again!"

"You're mistaken," rejoined the other suavely. "The dog didn't come quite to a set, though almost. As a matter of fact, the man's name was Quayle, and the dog hesitated on account of the spelling!"—P. R. Benson.

Joke of the Day - William J. Stevens.......

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 08:26 AM PST

William J. Stevens, for several years local station agent at Swansea, R. I., was peacefully promenading his platform one morning when a rash dog ventured to snap at one of William's plump legs. Stevens promptly kicked the animal halfway across the tracks, and was immediately confronted by the owner, who demanded an explanation in language more forcible than courteous.

"Why," said Stevens when the other paused for breath, "your dog's mad."

"Mad! Mad! You double-dyed blankety-blank fool, he ain't mad!"

"Oh, ain't he?" cut in Stevens. "Gosh! I should be if any one kicked me like that!"

Short Funny Jokes - Do you know......

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 08:26 AM PST

"Do you know that that bulldog of yours killed my wife's little harmless, affectionate poodle?"

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Would you be offended if I was to present him with a nice brass collar?"

Short Funny Jokes - Visitor

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 08:25 AM PST

FAIR VISITOR—"Why are you giving Fido's teeth such a thorough brushing?"

FOND MISTRESS—"Oh! The poor darling's just bitten some horrid person, and, really, you know, one can't be too careful."—Life.

Short Funny Jokes - A family......

Posted: 21 Jan 2010 08:24 AM PST

A family moved from the city to a suburban locality and were told that they should get a watchdog to guard the premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a neighboring dog fancier, who was a German. Shortly afterward the house was entered by burglars who made a good haul, while the big dog slept. The man went to the dog fancier and told him about it.

"Veil, vat you need now," said the dog merchant, "is a leedle dog to vake up the big dog."