The Jokester's Latest Joke: Learning the Alphabet, One Letter at a Time

My Thanks to those of you who sent such kind words and pleas for me to stay “in Business” as the Jokester.  I am taking your words to heart and have decided to stay in business  - so, without further ado – a topic near and dear to us all:  Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Password During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:   MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento   When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.   Two Brothers There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful.   His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt.   The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways.   Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there, and he was very happy.   One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn't seen him there.   God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead.   The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother.   So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother.   He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other.   Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with you.   It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don't understand - if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment".   God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son.   The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."     Blondes at the University The blondes at the university led by Suzy, were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbo's. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.   So Suzy pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed and set up the Blonde Education Department.   Suzy and the blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now. They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbo's -- after all, they now had their own department at the university.   So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department designed by Suzy which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D."   Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?   A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.   Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?   A: Trying to hold on to a thought.   Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?   A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!"    Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?   A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"   Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?   A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!   Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?   A: They always forget the recipe.   Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?   A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.   Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?   A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!   Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?   A: From eating with forks.   Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?    A: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.   Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?   A: Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables.   Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?   A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."   Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?   A: You can park in the handicap zone.
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From Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}: Jokester@TheJokester.net