Short Funny Jokes |
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| Posted: 12 Feb 2010 01:11 AM PST Theodore Watts, says Charles Rowley in his book "Fifty Years of Work Without Wages," tells a good story against himself. A nature enthusiast, he was climbing Snowdon, and overtook an old gypsy woman. He began to dilate upon the sublimity of the scenery, in somewhat gushing phrases. The woman paid no attention to him. Provoked by her irresponsiveness, he said, "You don't seem to care for this magnificent scenery?" She took the pipe from her mouth and delivered this settler: "I enjies it; I don't jabber."  |
| Posted: 12 Feb 2010 01:11 AM PST Nat Goodwill was at the club with an English friend and became the center of an appreciative group. A cigar man offered the comedian a cigar, saying that it was a new production. "With each cigar, you understand," the promoter said, "I will give a coupon, and when you have smoked three thousand of them you may bring the coupons to me and exchange them for a grand piano." Nat sniffed the cigar, pinched it gently, and then replied: "If I smoked three thousand of these cigars I think I would need a harp instead of a grand piano." There was a burst of laughter in which the Englishman did not join, but presently he exploded with merriment. "I see the point" he exclaimed. "Being an actor, you have to travel around the country a great deal and a harp would be so much more convenient to carry."  |
| SHORT FUNNY JOKES ENGLISH LANGUAGE Posted: 11 Feb 2010 09:54 AM PST The class at Heidelberg was studying English conjugations, and each verb considered was used in a model sentence, so that the students would gain the benefit of pronouncing the connected series of words, as well as learning the varying forms of the verb. This morning it was the verb "to have" in the sentence, "I have a gold mine." Herr Schmitz was called to his feet by Professor Wulff. "Conjugate 'do haff' in der sentence, 'I haff a golt mine," the professor ordered. "I haff a golt mine, du hast a golt dein, he hass a golt hiss. Ve, you or dey haff a golt ours, yours or deirs, as de case may be."  |
| Posted: 11 Feb 2010 09:53 AM PST An old man who had led a sinful life was dying, and his wife sent for a near-by preacher to pray with him. The preacher spent some time praying and talking, and finally the old man said: "What do you want me to do, Parson?" "Renounce the Devil, renounce the Devil," replied the preacher. "Well, but, Parson," protested the dying man, "I ain't in position to make any enemies."  |
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