Its All Humor |
| April Fools Day and little old lady Posted: 31 Mar 2010 04:43 AM PDT April Fools Day and Little Old Lady in court..... Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abler died some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.I haven't felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" so I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!" Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little CENSORED...  |
| Posted: 31 Mar 2010 04:12 AM PDT Easter Egg questions and answers in hilarious comedy style... Q. How did the eggs leave the highway? A. They went through the "Eggs-it". Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? A. He cracked up. Q. Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day? A. They were afraid they would fry! Q. What did the egg say to the clown? A. You crack me up! Q. What part did the egg play in the movies? A. He was an "Egg-stra". Q. What do you call a sleeping egg? A. Egg-zosted! Q. What did the eggs do when the light turned green? A. They egg-cellerated. Q. What do you call an egg who is on the computer too much? A. An "Egg Head". Q. Why didn't the egg play on the computer very much? A. His brain would be fried. Q. What sport are the eggs good at? A. Running! Q. What did the eggs do on the Internet? A. They looked for a good egg-site! Q. Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.? A. Because their cable was scrambled. Q. What website do eggs go on to chat? A. "eggs.com" Q. Why was the father egg so strict? A. He was hard-boiled. Q. What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg? A. You're "Egg-stra special". Q. What's red, pink and blue with yellow all over? A. An Easter egg rolling down the hill. Q. Why won't eggs go out at night? A. They don't want to get "beat up". Q. Why did the egg go to school? A. To get "Egg-u-cated". Q. Why wouldn't the egg take a hot bath? A. He didn't want to be hard boiled. Q. How did the egg roll across the road? A. It just rolled, silly! Q. How do eggs stay healthy? A. They "Egg-cercize". Q. What kind of plants do eggs keep? A. Eggplants, silly! Q. Why was the little girl sad after the race? A. Because an egg beater! Q. Why did the egg go to the baseball game? A. For the egg-stra innings! Q. What kind of jokes do eggs tell? A. Egg yolks! Knock-knock. Who's there? Egg. Egg who? Egg-cited to see me? Q. What do you call an egg from outer space? A. An "Egg-stra terrestial". Q. What do you get if you cross an egg with a vacuum cleaner? A. I have no idea, but I bet it's messy! Q. Why did the egg cross the road? A. Because he wasn't a chicken yet! Q. What day does an egg hate the most? A. Fry-days. Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg? A. Neither--the Easter Bunny! WISH YOU HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY READERS, I AM SURE YOU ALL LIKED THIS EASTER EGG JOKE...  |
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