The Jokester's Latest Joke: Keep One Finger On The Escape Key

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Signs to Hang in the Office I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.   If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?   I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.   On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.   I have not yet begun to procrastinate.   I don't suffer from stress. I'm just a carrier.   Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.   Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.   If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.      Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.      God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.      Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.      Coffee, chocolate, men: some things are just better rich.      How can I miss you if you won't go away?      And your point is...?     Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.      Of course I don't look busy I did it right the first time.      Do not start with me. You will not win.      You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up      My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.      I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.     Sorry if I look interested. I'm not
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From Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}: Jokester@TheJokester.net