Saturday, March 26, 2011

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes


SOME SHORT JOKES LOST AND FOUND

Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:33 PM PDT

"I ain't losing any faith in human nature," said Uncle Eben, "but I kain't he'p noticin' dat dere's allus a heap mo' ahticles advertised 'Lost' dan dar is 'Found.'"

"What were you in for?" asked the friend.
"I found a horse."
"Found a horse? Nonsense! They wouldn't jug you for finding a horse."
"Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him."

"Party that lost purse containing twenty dollars need worry no longer—it has been found."—Brooklyn Life.

A lawyer having offices in a large office building recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly prized. Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link somewhere in the building he posted this notice:
"Lost. A gold cuff-link. The owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its immediate return."
That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to observe that appended thereto were these lines:
"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."

CHINAMAN—"You tellee me where railroad depot?"
CITIZEN—"What's the matter, John? Lost?"
CHINAMAN—"No! me here. Depot lost."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES LISPING

Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:30 PM PDT

"Have you lost another tooth, Bethesda?" asked auntie, who noticed an unusual lisp.
"Yes'm," replied the four-year-old, "and I limp now when I talk."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES LIBRARIANS

Posted: 25 Mar 2011 10:10 PM PDT

A distinguished librarian is a good follower of Chesterton. He says: "To my way of thinking, a great librarian must have a clear head, a strong hand and, above all, a great heart. Such shall be greatest among librarians; and when I look into the future, I am inclined to think that most of the men who will achieve this greatness will be women."

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