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I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them. Went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?" Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts  ||  On-line Dating Jokes for Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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Little Johnny kept disrupting his class by letting out loud farts, so his teacher kept him after school. "Why do you do it?" she frowned. "Cos I can do it better than anyone and I'm proud of it," said Johnny. "If I show you I can fart better than you," asked the teacher, "will you stop?" Johnny agreed, so the teacher placed two piles of chalk dust on the floor. Little Johnny dropped his pants, squatted and with a mighty toot blew away all but the tiniest speck of dust. Then the teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted and farted - blowing all the dust away. "No wonder you won!" screamed Johnny. "You've got a double barred!" On-line Dating  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, ’I’ll take that bet!’ Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said ’I can’t take this, you’re my friend.’ The blonde said ’No. A bet’s a bet’. So the redhead said ’Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money’. The blonde replied, ’Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!’ Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! On-line Dating  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites  ||  Sex Dating

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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!" On-line Dating  ||  Funny T-Shirts Handcrafted Wood Pens Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Put Jokes on your Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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What happens in a shower Posted: 25 Sep 2011 09:36 AM PDT

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Then and Now Posted: 24 Sep 2011 01:47 PM PDT

Confusion Posted: 24 Sep 2011 03:03 AM PDT Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!" Father: That's great son. Who is she? Son: It's Sandra, d neighbour's daughter. Father: Ohhh I wish u hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but u must promise?not?to tell ur mother. Sandra is actually ur sister. The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ... Son: Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter! Father: That's great son. Who is she? Son: It's Angela, d other neighbour's daughter. Father: Ohhhh I wish u hadn't said that. Angela is also ur sister. This went on couple of times n d son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying. Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father! The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, u can date whoever u want. He isn't your father =))

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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Self Control Posted: 23 Sep 2011 01:35 AM PDT ‎​People smoke and drink for a few days & get addicted to it. I am studying since childhood but still not addicted to studying....This is called SELF CONTROL..........>=)

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!" Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts  ||  On-line Dating Jokes for Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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The IT Guys Posted: 21 Sep 2011 11:09 AM PDT

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A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions, then he shared with them this fun fact: "There are no swear words in the Cherokee language." One boy raised his hand, "But what if you're hammering a nail and accidentally smash your thumb?" "That," the man answered, "is when we use your language." Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts  ||  On-line Dating Jokes for Websites  ||  Adult Dating

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At the Barber Shop Posted: 20 Sep 2011 01:22 PM PDT A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left.A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left.A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.   The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,'Your house!' =D =))

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A number of new Air-Force recruits were being taken on their first training flight. The plane had just leveled out after taking off when one of the engines seized up, and another began smoking badly. Adjusting his parachute, the instructor strove for nonchalance as he made his way to the hatch door. "Now I want you men to keep perfectly calm," he said, "while I go for help." Handmade Wood Gifts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts  ||  On-line Dating Jokes for Websites  ||  Adult Dating

Int'l Mini-MBA Program at Makati Shangri-La Hotel, Makati City on October 22 - December 10, 2011

		Want to be a Recognized Global Business Administrator?
								DMCA Business Education
		15th Chartered Business Administrator (CBA) Mini MBA Program   Makati Shangri-La Hotel October 01, 08, 15, 22 and 29 November 05, 12, and 19, 2011		Course Syllabus:   The course will run through 8 consecutive Saturdays with in-depth discussions and lectures on the following topics:   · Human Resources Management   · Marketing   · Accounting and Finance   · Information Technology   · Leadership   · Strategic Management    (General Management)   Lecturers are from the academe with International MBAs and successful business practitioners.
		As management of financial statements are entrusted to Certified Public Accountants (CPA), health practices to Medical Doctors (MD), businesses and companies should be entrusted to competent business professionals.  Ever wondered which qualification is  for business owners and managers like you? Chartered Business Administrator (CBA) is a management certification given to qualified individuals competent in the fields of Management of the General Organization, Human Resources, Marketing, IT, Accounting and Finance. The CBA certification is designed to validate one's skills in business management.  Recognized worldwide, the certification is upheld by the Chartered Association of Business Administrators (CABA), based in Canada whose mission is to raise competency in the field of management and business administration through certifications and code of ethics.
				Benefits of Being a CBA   After the course, the participant who successfully meets the CBA eligibility requirements at the end of the program will enjoy the following:   · Worldwide Recognition: Professional letters CBA after the name, signifying achievement of globally recognized certification.   · Membership certificate sealed by the Chartered Association of Business Administrators of Canada   · Access to the "Members Only" section on the Institute's web site.   · Regional Meetings   · CPD (Continuing Professional Development) seminars   · Referral of Job Placement
		Who do you want to be? Certification validates a standard of acquired knowledge and skill, which  distinguishes professional managers from the regular.     Being a CBA validates that you have the competency to manage and run a business. Whether you're an entrepreneur thinking of putting up your own firm or a manager climbing the corporate ladder, upgrade your business practice and career by getting a CBA Certification.
		What are they saying about the program?   The program delivered as promised.  Its a mini MBA-program which gave me practical knowledge and skills as well as application of various management theories and principles in the fields of human resource management, IT, marketing, economics, finances and etc. The speakers were outstanding both in their experience and knowledge as well as in their facilitating skills.   Amy Ann Cordero HR Manager San Miguel Yamamura Packaging Corporation     It is indeed a very fruitful program attending the CBA for a Business Owner like me. The program is easy to understand and Resource Persons are using the practical approach in the  discussion. This program will also helps us enhance our managerial skills and decision making. Taking this program is a sure ROI in  your tuition investment. I recommend this Program!   Rafael Chico President Interlink Manpower Dev. & Gen. Serv., Inc.     The CBA program was just an opportunity I cannot ignore.  The set-up is perfect for working professionals who are not able to commit to a full MBA load, but are more than interested to learn about the fundamentals of management.  The seminars are often a unique mélange of professors and insightful sessions that do not just offer theoretical but also experiential points.  You not only gain knowledge but friends too that make the learning process all the more meaningful.   Marcelle Jonil Guanzon Executive Vice President Cinemasters Productions     I am very satisfied with the breadth and depth of the course. It has done 2 things for me, it provided guidance using current managerial practices and, during the last sessions, direction on how to become a noble leader. Though I have attended several leadership classes and have gone through several leadership books, I lacked the skills aspect. Which, I believe, is equally important with that of intent. This short "fast food" course gave me enough of those skills to be a better leader/manager.   Florito Dennis Vicente SPML R&D Department Manager Sun Power Phils. Mfg. Ltd
				Who Should Attend?   Those involved or would soon be involved in decision making processes in management, finance, marketing, human resource development, academics, government, personal business and non-profit organizations.
				Continue Mastering Business with us with OUR NUMBERS AND MANAGEMENT SERIES   * Business Accounting and Tax   (November 05, 12, 19, & 26, 2011)   * Managerial Accounting   (September 03, 10, 17, & 24, 2011)   * Basics in Finance and Investment   (October 22 and 29, 2011)   * Human Resource Management   (October 01, 2011)
				CBA Program Batch 13
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		Be a global business leader NOW. Let us prepare YOU. Contact us to reserve a slot. For inquiries: Please call us at: 840.3903 / 817.7036 / 310.4166 Or you can email us at: business@dmcasia.net And you can visit us at: www.dmcasia.net
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