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THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM: 6:00 Alarm. 6:15 Sex. 6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today. 7:00 Breakfast, fillet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee. 7:30 Limo arrives. 7:45 Stoli bloody Mary en route to airport. 8:15 Private jet to Augusta, GA. 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. 9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under). 11:45 Lunch 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens. 12:15 Sex. 12:30 Back nine at Augusta (4 under). 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini). 14:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap). 15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew. 16:30 Land World record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs). 17:00 Jet back and get massage & hand job en route by naked supermodel. 18:45 Shit, shower and shave. 19:00 Watch CNN news flash: president resigns - farm animal video released and authenticated. 19:30 Dinner, lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963) 20 oz. New York steak 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar. 21:30 Sex with three women. 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi. 23:45 Bed (alone). 23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart -- dog leaves room. 23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep. Handcrafted Wood Gifts  ||  Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid  ||  Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan  ||  Crazy T-Shirts Jokes for your Websites If you need to unsubscribe, click here