Monday, January 28, 2013

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for January 28

Aha!Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Jan. 28, 2013!
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Elderly Birth Control

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."

Crazy Laws - New York

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

In Carmel NY, a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

In Greene NY, during a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

In New York City, citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

In New York City, women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

In Ocean City NY, it is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.

In Ocean City NY, it is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

In Staten Island NY, you may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

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