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Friday, June 28, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| There was a Scottish man in a bar with his two friends minding there own business. The next minute in storms two punks, one of the punks had long spiky hair, one spike blue, one spike green, one spike red and one spike yellow. The Scottish man couldn't take his eyes off the punks hair. This came to the punks attention after a while the punk said "have you got a problem mate?" The Scottish man says "no, but can I ask how old you are please?" The punk says "19, why?" The Scottish man says "Well 20 years ago I had sex with a parrot so I might be your dad" Weight Loss Tips || Funny T-Shirts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| Jack rings Abe and says "I've got 10,000 pairs of trousers I can let you have for a pound each". Abe does the deal and then rings Harry "Harry, I've got a wonderful deal for you. 10,000 pairs of trousers, to you £2 a piece" Harry jumps at the deal and then rings Melvyn. "Melvy boy its your lucky day,10,000 pairs of trousers, because its you I'll do them for £3 the pair" Melvyn thinks a minute and says "Sounds good, can I come and see them?" "Sure" says Harry. Melvyn arrives at Harry's warehouse. "So where are the trousers?" Harry shows him the boxes. He opens one and pulls out a few pairs and examines them. Then he turns to Harry and says "But these have only got one leg!". Harry snorts and says "You schmuck, they're not for wearing they're for selling!" Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan || Crazy T-Shirts If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What's the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears." The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company. As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's so touchy with the ear thing." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth did you know that, son?" "What? Are you stupid? You can't wear glasses, you've got no ears!" Weight Loss Tips || Funny T-Shirts Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Happy #HALFXMAS!
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Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool." So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferrari's, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?" The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!" Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Monday, June 24, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| The Penis Poem My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Outrageous T-Shirts! Funny T-Shirts || Weight Loss Program If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Friday, June 21, 2013
Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating
| This Joke of the Day is sent to you by Funny Joke Rating. Forward it to your friends so they can laugh to! Check out our newest jokes - new jokes are added constantly! 15 Newest Jokes @FunnyJokeRating on Twitter |
| An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator. He began to sniff, and the Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?" "Well, yes I do," he replied. "What does it smell like?" The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but it kinda smells like someone crapped in a pine tree." Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan || Crazy T-Shirts If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Thursday, June 20, 2013
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