Monday, September 16, 2013

Your Joke of the Day from Funny Joke Rating

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And now some words from our Leaders...

"Damit, when you get married, you kind of expect you're going to get a little sex."
--Jeremiah Denton, senator from Alabama, 1981-86. Denton had offered a bill providing criminal immunity for raping a spouse.

"Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read a Playboy with your wife turning the pages."
--Barry Goldwater, 1964 Republican presidential nominee

"If guns are outlawed, how can we shoot the liberals?"
--Mike Gunn, Mississippi state senator, 1991

"We have every mixture you can imagine. I have a black, I have a woman, two Jews and a cripple."
--James Watt, Secretary of the Interior, 1981-83, describing an Interior Department advisory group.

"Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much limited to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes."
--Pat Buchanan, 1996 Republican presidential candidate.

"Boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?"
--George Bush, touring Auschwitz in 1987.

"If you're worried about caribou, take a look at the arguments that were used about the pipeline. They'd say the caribou would be extinct. You've got to shake them away with a stick. They're all making love lying up against the pipeline, and you got thousands of caribou up there."
--George Bush, commenting on the Alaskan pipeline.

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