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You might be a Star Wars redneck if... -Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. -You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. -At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer-colored. -There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder. -You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. -You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. -You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. -You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. -You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. -You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit. -The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. -Wookies are offended by your B.O. -You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. -You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. -You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. -Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot." -You have ever told your R-2 unit to use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light. -You've ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." -You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. -You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel, 'cause he looks a little sissy in that vest. -You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. -You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. -You've ever fallen in love with your sister. -You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees." -You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. -You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a red wood deck. -You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene. -In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right." Handcrafted Wood Gifts || Unique Gifts @ Perpetual Kid || Insane T-Shirts! Weight Loss Plan || Crazy T-Shirts If you need to unsubscribe, click here |
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
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