Tuesday, April 15, 2014

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You might be a Star Wars redneck if...

-Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
-You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
-At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer-colored.
-There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
-You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
-You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
-You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
-You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
-You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
-You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
-The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
-Wookies are offended by your B.O.
-You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
-You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
-You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
-Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
-You have ever told your R-2 unit to use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
-You've ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
-You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.
-You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel, 'cause he looks a little sissy in that vest.
-You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
-You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
-You've ever fallen in love with your sister.
-You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees."
-You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
-You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a red wood deck.
-You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.
-In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right."

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